digiorno | ic inbox ( ruby city ) Ⅰ

Giorno, do you think I could meet you at the cafe later? I'd like to make sure you're alright, if you were caught up in all that recent insanity.

[He was wondering if this was coming. Wondering, but he didn't reach out for it, because - he's exhausted. It's been days and he's still exhausted. He doesn't want to see anyone.]

[But.]

I was. And of course, you can come by whenever you want. I don't have anywhere to be today.

I'll come by a little after noon, if that's acceptable.

[...because god, he was exhausted too and just kind of wanted to lock himself in his room and try to figure a few things out.]

[But eventually he did turn up at the cafe with a black jacket over his white collared shirt, replacing the usual green school uniform. Kakyoin took off his sunglasses as he walked in, looking around.]

Giov--ah, Giorno? Sorry, I'm a little later than I'd planned to be.

[He was sitting at his customary table in the corner, drinking his customary cappuccino. It was his fourth of the day. Sleep hadn't come easily since Wonderland, and staying awake during the day was becoming a struggle.]

[Kakyoin got a smile the instant the door rung open, a fractionally raised eyebrow.]

It's no problem. Please, sit.

[And, because he couldn't quite resist--]

That's new.

Jotaro gave it to me a while ago--I'm really not sure it suits me all that well.

[Laughing a little awkwardly, he walked over to take a seat.]

It does at least match the sunglasses, though.

Wear it with confidence and it'll suit you.

[The Dio Brando method of outfit planning, honestly. He tips his head towards the counter.]

Do you want something?

[one can fault dio for literally everything except his confidence, honestly.]

I wouldn't mind a cup of black coffee, if that's okay.

[spoken like a true insomniac on his last nerves]

[He flashes Kakyoin an "I see you and get you and definitely am in no place to judge you" kind of smile, then pushes his chair back and crosses over to step behind the counter. It's probably telling that in the time since he's arrived, he's somehow acquired permission to go literally anywhere in here that he wants to, whether or not someone else is supervising or not.]

[Confidence. Sometimes it's genetic.]

[It's only while he's pouring a (very large) cup of (very hot) black coffee that he realizes he never actually argued against the purpose of this visit - to make sure he's all right. That distracts him for long enough that he fills it almost too full and has to be cautious crossing back to the table, although his balance is naturally as good as a Victorian schoolgirl's.]

I told him to give something to you a while ago. I don't know if he ever did. Nothing as good as that, of course, but that's as it should be.

[Boyfriends are supposed to give the best presents.]

This was a month or so ago--he realized he'd missed my birthday, I guess.

[For lack of anything else to do for the moment, he turned his sunglasses over in his hand a few times. It looked like Giorno was as much a tired mess as Kakyoin himself--for a second he wondered if they'd run into a similar manifestation.]

I can't think of anything else he's-... [Frowning, he paused for a second.] ...Wait, no. I woke up with a cup of chocolate pudding balanced on my head not that long ago.

[Said with a look of fucking really.]

Edited 2015-11-01 00:13 (UTC)

[hfnsdxlfdh. Not. Laughing. Smiling, though, he's only human, after all.]

Fitting, I guess. I balanced it on his hat.

[Never let it be said that Jotaro doesn't have a sense of humor.]

. . . It's my favorite. He found out somehow and said I had to bring some when I needed to talk.

Unbelievable.

[For god's sake, Jotaro. Kakyoin shook his head, trying to repress the urge to laugh himself. Silently, he filed away the remark of it's my favorite as an important note to be remembered.]

I'd have brought some if I knew. I'd hate to trouble you out of nowhere with nothing to show for it in return.

I don't need to be bribed to be talked to, Kakyoin.

[It was still kind of amused, but there was a little bit of force behind it, too. If this was going to be an equitable exchange, like it was supposed to be, then it's not about "something to show for it".]

Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean it like that.

[He held up his hands, smiling but genuinely apologetic.]

It's good to see you, at any rate.

I know. For me, too. I was worried there, not being able to stay in touch with everyone.

[Which contained permission for Kakyoin to open the conversation, if he wanted to, or stay in safe territory if he wasn't ready yet.]

...I wasn't carrying my watch when I ended up over there, so trying to contact me wouldn't do much anyway.

[Kakyoin stopped fidgeting, setting his sunglasses aside.]

Thanks--for being concerned, when I started to realize I'd forgotten something. I know what it was now, and I think everything's back in order.

Of course I was concerned. I wouldn't let anything happen to you.

[This statement, with all its Giorno-esque hallmarks of genuineness to the point of social discomfort, was followed up with a sharp frown, a shake of his head.]

I don't mean "let". You can take care of yourself; that's not it. Only if something did happen and I could do something about it--

[Well, that wasn't true, either.]

Or if I could hurt the person who did it. I would.

[A beat.]

Anyway. If you want to tell me, I'd like to know, but if you don't, I understand.

It's okay, Giorno. I know you and Jotaro are both aware I can take care of myself; I just find it frustrating when I think I'm being treated as though I'm something fragile. But I think that I'm...learning to understand that distinction. Between the general concepts of 'I want to protect you' and 'I want to support you', I mean. Obviously, I would do the same for you or any of our friends, so being annoyed about the reverse kind of just makes me a hypocrite.

[Sighing, he folded his hands.]

...Regardless, I'd...forgotten someone significant, when we last spoke. I wasn't attacked here, I've had scars since the day that I arrived--more than just the ones on my face.

Hmm. Knowing it's hypocritical doesn't necessarily stop one from feeling it anyway.

[You know, from one hypocrite to another. But he did get serious when Kakyoin did, cocking his head curiously.]

[It was - not really any one thing that gave it away, more the overall impression. The way he sat, the way his hands folded on the table, someone significant, since the day that I arrived - ah.]

. . . If you're talking about what I think you're talking about, I think it's an unusual sort of cruelty to have to learn about that twice.

...It wasn't exactly pleasant, no. The sheer amount of memories I'd lost without fully realizing it was unsettling enough on its own.

[His hands tensed slightly, Kakyoin consciously stopping himself from going back to nervous fidgeting.]

We ended up an illusion of Cairo; myself, Jotaro, his mother, Jonathan, and Lisa Lisa. Obviously none of it was real, but I...saw him again.

[...]

I was worried. I thought there might have been a chance you could have run into something similar.

Kakyoin.

[It didn't come out angry, just exasperated. Why were they like this? Why was it that even in the most personal of crises, they refused to think of themselves?]

Dio wasn't there.

[And he said it deliberately, in a way that made it clear he didn't approve of dodging around the use of his name as though it might summon him, but then he - hesitated. Frowned. Looked down at his cappuccino for a moment.]

. . . Just me.

Edited 2015-11-01 03:35 (UTC)

...

[Kakyoin didn't flinch at the sharp exasperation, but he hesitated to answer. Instead, he looked directly at Giorno ascalmly as he could.]

I'm as willing to listen as I'm sure you are, if you decide you want to talk about it.

[For a moment he didn't say anything. Just watched the slow-motion movements of foam disintegrating in his cup, the layer of it merging slowly with the steamed milk.]

You said something to me once about . . . how I wasn't his legacy. I remember being so deeply struck by it, because when I told Bruno, he said the same thing. The same words exactly. And Jotaro told me that he was - we all are - afraid of being like him. I remember . . .

[He laughed, a little shaky.]

I remember that was the first time you addressed me by my first name. I do know what that means, you know. To you. And then Jotaro did, too, by saying he didn't want Don Giovanna, and - the two of you, due, you're magnificent bastards, honestly. You know how to cut me down at the knees with no effort.

So you know what I mean when I say that there are things about what I know of him that I see in myself, and I hope you'll respect me when I say that that isn't self-flagellation. It's the truth.

...We're a good team, what can I say? [Shrugging, Kakyoin answered with a hesitant laugh of his own.]

Some situations call for 'Giovanna', and ones like these are where 'Giorno' is simply more appropriate. I understand the significance a given name can have, beyond just a simple cultural difference. It's something that's uniquely one's own, no matter what they decide to make it.

[Kakyoin didn't know anything about 'Haruno Shiobana'--it was impossible for him to have any idea that he was talking about anyone but himself. Restless hands getting the better of him despite being the picture of calm, Kakyoin Tenmei reached out and took a drink of the coffee in front of him.]

No--I won't argue, but I also won't say that you've struck me as truly similar to him since that first night. But I... [He trailed off, glancing down to the table before finding the confidence to look back up.]

Maybe I don't have a place to say this, where my connection isn't quite as personal as yours or Jotaro's. But there's something I've been carrying, too--something that reminds me too much of him.

[Another pause.]

I don't want to make this all about myself, just...I wanted to make that clear. That you and Jojo aren't the only ones with that kind of reminder.

[Something like - no, not like, it was pain that flashed across Giorno's face just then. Something uniquely one's own; was that the same thing as a lie? Because Giorno Giovanna was a lie. It was a story he told, a precedent he set from his very first meeting with anyone, a foundation of insincerity on which to build a house of lies and manipulation. And he had his reasons, and they were good reasons, but that didn't make it less of a lie.]

[So it goes. He watched Kakyoin drink his coffee and felt a small pinprick of satisfaction at having done something perfectly. And when Kakyoin said that - I wanted to make that clear - maybe he shouldn't, but he reached across the table and rested his fingertips against Kakyoin's wrist for a second or two before withdrawing, expression serene as usual despite the obvious tension in his shoulders.]

I know you do. That's why I said we all do. But - please. It helps me to know if it helps you. I think we've all been alone in being afraid of ourselves for long enough, don't you?

[As far as Kakyoin was concerned, whatever Giorno wanted as his name would simply be his name regardless of the reason for it. He wasn't really Kakyoin Tenmei--lonely and isolated and praying someone could be able to understand him. Noriaki was different from that, more than just a simple misreading out of distaste at the sound. It was taking the same 'bright scripture' and reinterpreting it, forming a new and better self that could leave that lonely self behind.]

I think so, as well.

[Still no one called him anything but 'Kakyoin', but that was fine. He was fairly sure he wasn't ready to let others use the name he chose for himself. Not until he was sure he could move past the fear and isolation and the sickening cowardice.]

No one really taught me how to use my Stand, obviously--all that I can do with him was learned through experience as I grew up. Trial and error, a few accidents, just like any other skill. But there's one thing he can do that I never knew about until...after I met Dio.

[...Maybe that would be sooner than he'd really given thought to.]

I can control people, Giorno. Hierophant can reach under their skin, take every inch of their nervous system and use their body as a puppet. When I met Jotaro--while I was under his control--I even used a school nurse to stab someone in the eye with a pen. [That was the first he'd ever actually spoken of that particular detail, and Kakyoin's hands went rigidly tense around his cup of coffee.]

I don't care if that wasn't me or if I had no control over it. I know I didn't, but that doesn't change anything. My Hierophant is the most important thing to me, and the fact that my reflection has a power like that...it bothers the hell out of me, Giorno. If I have to resort to using it--what if it gets stronger, if I find out I can control more than just physical movements? I don't want anyone to go through something like what happened to me and to Polnareff.

10/27ish idk after wonderland shit goes down I'M LATE

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