digiorno: icon by me! art credit? (♛ two dimes walked up in the building)
giorno "menace, pronounced like versace" giovanna ([personal profile] digiorno) wrote2016-03-14 04:22 am

ic inbox ( ruby city ) Ⅱ 



buongiorno! sorry i missed you; i'll happily get back to you as soon as i'm done with whatever business i'm on. leave a message!

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silvercrusader: in INK, do you want to see? (talk ⚔ i did the crossword puzzle)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-04 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah.

[He can see it now, in the curve of his smile, the way his hair tumbles around his head. Soft, softer than Dio ever was-- but the similarities are there, blatant now that he knows what to look for. But whereas Dio's face was always contorted-- in rage, in smug superiority, in awful desperate triumph-- Giorno's never looks like that.]

Nothing's about to attack.

[Not that he minds Gold Experience out and about-- but this isn't that kind of wrong. Just a talk, long overdue.

Polnareff sits-- not the easy sprawl he'd collapsed in three weeks ago, but tighter, legs curled under him. In that moment, he looks more like the man he'll become in thirteen years-- tired and somber, ready to deal with whatever crisis comes up next.]


Come sit.

[They need to be equals for this.]
Edited 2016-04-04 22:07 (UTC)
silvercrusader: i take my shirt off  because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty (serious ⚔ when i get upset)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-04 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[It was easy, last night, to be upset with Giorno. To think why didn't you tell me, to rail against the fact that he is family and yet not. But now-- faced with this boy, this terribly empathetic child, his Giorno-- how can he be upset?

He really does look like his father. Polnareff doesn't know how he didn't see it before, but maybe he didn't want to see it.]


There's . . . I think it's three months, maybe more, of my life that I can't remember.

[He keeps his gaze steady on Giorno.]

I get flashes, sometimes, if I try hard to remember-- and the flashes are myself doing things I'd never want to do. Luring people to their deaths, charming them into following me and then leaving them to die-- or just attacking, cutting down anyone who came too close, who figured out too much or didn't want to cooperate.

[He thinks. Maybe. Maybe, maybe not, and the worst part is he'll never actually know.]

Dio . . . I told him my first day here that I'm one of his murderers. Because I'm proud of it, and because I'd do it again in half a second, if I found him here grown. Because there's three months of my life I can't remember, and that's his fault. But--

[A moment's pause.]

Did you think I'd hate you, if I found out you were his son?
silvercrusader: i take my shirt off  because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty (serious ⚔ when i get upset)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-04 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[It would be a lie to say he hadn't considered it. That to see Giorno-- Dio's legacy, Dio's mouth, Dio's hair, Dio, manifested in another-- would be too much for a while. But sitting here, facing him-- it's easy. It's not Dio, but simply Giorno-- a person unto himself, radiating none of the menace or terror his father had.]

You . . . must be been about five, when we killed him. And then I came along ten years later, your father's killer, and somehow became important to you. What happened? Did you know, when he died-- did you know him at all?

[The questions are steady, not softened at all-- but he makes no move to leave.]
silvercrusader: i take my shirt off  because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty (serious ⚔ when i get upset)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-05 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
[It doesn't fit in with the narrative he'd started to build for himself. Dio does not get to be something so human as a father; he doesn't get to let a woman escape, knowing she bore his child. It's an act of mercy, or maybe just an experiment-- but it sits badly in Polnareff's mind.

There are things he wants to ask. What was your name before, and what did your stepfather do-- because he can hear the words unspoken, knows how to fill in the blanks. And there's anger, too, hot and too late, because--

Giorno, age five, too small to understand, abused and neglected and just another life that Dio had ruined by coming near. They were around. They could have saved him, if they'd known. If they'd looked around a bit more, investigated more deeply, swept through Dio's mansion more thoroughly. Go home and rest, Jotaro had said; they'd come back later and go through the remains of the mansion. Jotaro and Joseph had wanted to see Holly; he'd wanted to go back to France. He'd wanted it all to be over. But if he hadn't--

He's not blaming himself, because there's nothing he's done that he ought to take blame for. But there's-- regret, maybe. If only you'd known, and he would have taken Giorno in an instant. Swept in and made it right, like the knight he tries so hard to be.

Very gently, he reaches out, two fingers brushing against Giorno's cheek.]


I didn't understand, when Jotaro told me to get toys. I thought you'd hate it, that a seventeen year old would want things like-- god, I don't know. For teenagers. For adults. But--

[God, he wants to make this right.]

Jotaro acted-- surprised, I think, that I considered him family. That he was the one I'd call to first, but I told him-- who else is there? I don't have any blood relatives, but I'm not alone-- and neither are you. Blood doesn't mean shit around here-- you know that, right?
silvercrusader: i'll go right now buddy (anger ⚔ you wanna go)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-05 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
[No, he thinks again. No, because nothing Dio ever was or did was worthy of claiming. His ambition was to see the world in flames, to establish order over a world just to say he could; his manipulation was charm or slavery, depending on what would be faster. He took people and gave them what they wanted-- friendship, or money, or power, or anything at all-- and then when they were of no more use, he threw them away. And those were the ones who were sentient-- sometimes he very simply enslaved them, because it was far easier.

He has to bite back his answer, because he knows it wouldn't go over well. But the frustration is clearly there-- and he can never bite his thoughts back entirely, not ever, it's his worst trait--]


I've never seen it. And maybe I will, but I spend ages with Dio-- three months with him-- and I still haven't seen him in you. What he does, what he did-- you might be a gangster, and I know that's bloody work, but I can't imagine myself working with you if I had an inkling you were anything like him.
silvercrusader: (talk ⚔ that doesn't even make SENSE)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-05 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
[He's missed something, he knows. Something he shouldn't have missed, but he doesn't know what, not yet. But he'd expected an argument, a fight-- no you aren't, yes I am, but there's . . . nothing. Just a slight nod, a cool acceptance, which means: this is not worth arguing. He won, not because he convinced Giorno, but because Giorno is so convinced of his rightness that doesn't think the point worth arguing.

The truth is, he cannot imagine Giorno as a don. He can't even imagine him fighting, not really-- Gold Experience is a delight, but how can you weaponize life? He can't imagine this young boy killing anyone, and yet he must have-- he has, Diavolo, and he knows it, but he doesn't know it. He accepts it factually, but he cannot imagine it, cannot think of Giorno, bloody and triumphant.]


Show me.

[He says it roughly, because he doesn't want it, he doesn't want to see this--]

Or tell me. Whatever. You say you're like him? How. Because I look at you, and I see--

[He shakes his head.]

Tell me.
silvercrusader: i'll go right now buddy (anger ⚔ you wanna go)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-05 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
Because the point isn't to be happy.

[He says it too roughly, but Giorno isn't trying to be passive-aggressive-- and so he takes in a breath and sighs, sits back. Tugs his cigarettes out of his pocket and puts one in his mouth, though he waits for Giorno's go-ahead before he lights up.]

The point is to know you. To-- to be a person you can rely on. I'm not-- who you know. I know I'm not. I'm not good at advice and I don't know you, not like you know me. But I want to. And this is part of it.
silvercrusader: i take my shirt off  because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty (serious ⚔ when i get upset)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-05 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
[He lights up, inhaling eagerly. He really needs to cut back, he's smoked half a pack already-- but it's been a stressful few days.]

No. I just know he dies. That he was the don before you, that he was . . . corrupt, in some ways, that you don't want to be.

[The future is hazy and vague, and that's all right-- he doesn't need to know all the details. But it's starting to come into focus a little more. I would consume people, and what an apt word, because isn't that what Dio did? And he would still argue the point that Giorno isn't like that, except for what he adds next: all they want to do is give me exactly what I want.

The last few weeks . . . well. Hadn't he fallen for Giorno, in his own way? He's known him for less than a month, and yet he's been focused entirely on making him smile, making him happy, because he'd found him nothing less than charming. And it isn't that Polnareff thinks it's a false charm, or a manipulation-- he wouldn't be here if he thought Giorno was secretly some spoilt brat, manipulating people to get attention and praise. But . . .

It's starting to make a little more sense.]
silvercrusader: i take my shirt off  because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty (serious ⚔ when i get upset)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-05 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
[He listens. He's not very good at listening sometimes, but this is important-- and so he bites on his cigarette, inhales and exhales too deeply, and listens.

He doesn't know if he could think of a worse hell. Dying, and never having relief or rest-- just to relieve those last agonizing moments, over and over, caught in the worst kind of pain, tortured and yet never being allowed any kind of relief. Polnareff's been close enough to death to know that kind of pain; he remembers the faltering dimness of his vision, the roaring terror in his brain, the thought that at least it will all be over soon.

Would he have done that to Dio, if he'd had the ability? Probably. But it would have haunted him, eaten at his mind no matter what-- and yet Giorno tells him this steadily, uneffected by anything approaching guilt.

He can't say I take it back, because he will always, always regard similarities to Dio as an insult. It will never, ever be anything Giorno ought to take pride in, and Polnareff isn't about to encourage that line of thinking.]


And you'd do it again.

[It's not a question, nor is it any kind of condemnation. He says it to himself, simply to confirm it; a quiet acknowledgement of the fact.]

When did you first start fighting?

[Maybe they should have started with this. Hardship, and then softness. Getting to know the man before the boy.]

Fourteen, you left home. Around then?
silvercrusader: and nothing matters and i'm always tired (distant ⚔ life is pointless)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-05 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
[They're very different people, he and Giorno. There's never been a moment in Polnareff's life where he worried about losing himself-- about becoming cold and detached, some kind of killing machine. He knows enough to know it's possible, and perhaps in the right set of circumstanes it could be achieved. But it's never been a worry for him, because he's never fought anyone or anything that didn't deserve it.

The words they use are a little similar, though. Protecting people, but Giorno goes about it so differently. With fear and power, not through sheer muscle, but through manipulation, though pointed gestures and moves. And he can see that coldness shining through, in the simple way he says he might have killed his mother and stepfather-- not with any real cruelty or enjoyment, but simply a fact. I might have, and god, but Polnareff can't understand that level of detachment.]


I was nineteen.

[He tips his head.]

I don't know how much you know about me-- about all of that. But I think enough, yes? [He'd looked terribly upset at the mention of Sherry, anyway, which is the confirmation Polnareff needs.] That was my introduction to all of it. Before . . . Chariot and I, we'd never really done much in terms of fighting. Certainly not to that kind of level. I'd stand up to schoolyard bullies, but . . . it wasn't anything dangerous, not at all.

But after . . . once I hit nineteen, once Sherry died, I knew. I knew I'd kill Geil, and I knew I'd kill anyone who helped him. And I did. I beat the hell out of people to get a lead, I followed every clue I could-- he wasn't subtle, so it wasn't hard. And along the way, I fought and fought and fought, because it was easier to do that than think.

[He's rambling, he thinks, and shakes his head.]

I think . . . I looked at you and I saw someone who didn't fight, who doesn't need to fight to live here, not the way we do at home. And I was . . . stupid enough, maybe, to think that was all there was to it.
silvercrusader: picked the wrong starter in pokemon (shock ⚔ WAIT FUCK I)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-05 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
[He puts his hand over his mouth, but not before Polnareff catches the way his mouth trembles. And the entire situation is absurd, really-- I'm sorry that I'm not what you hoped I would be, and he could say those exact same words to Giorno. He's not wise enough, clever enough, quick enough; he's not the man he'll become, someone who can advise Giorno, who understands in ways that Polnareff, now, is too stupid to.

He doesn't think; he just reaches, tugging Giorno forward, manhandling him into a hug.]


You don't have anything to be sorry for.

[Firm and rough, not something that can be argued against. An indisputable fact. He says it as firmly as he can to the top of Giorno's head-- and it's good they're like this, because he doesn't want to have to worry about how he looks for the next part of it.]

Sherry is dead. She's dead and she will not come back, no matter what I do or who I meet. I tried once to bring her back, and it taught me that-- and so there is nothing you could have done, and I wouldn't have wanted you to try. She's dead and gone and you can't fix that, and neither can I.

[He would sell the world to get her back. He'd happily trade his own life for hers, even now, in this moment, he would. But he can't. The price isn't too high; it simply doesn't exist, and that's all there is to it.]

Giorno-- you are exactly what I hoped you'd be, because you're you. I'm the one who doesn't know, the one who-- who isn't who he should be. And I'll get there, I promise I will, but-- you have to understand, Giorno, I don't know you. Not yet. Not all of it. I'm going to be stupid and make mistakes and not understand, because I'm not who I become.

[So bear with me, that's what his words convey, but what really lies beneath that is: don't be too disappointed in me. Polnareff always shoots his mouth off, says stupid things, makes errors and blunders his way through life-- and god, he doesn't want to do that here. He wants to get it all right, and he knows he can't and he won't.]
silvercrusader: (happy ⚔ pamiii~♥)

[personal profile] silvercrusader 2016-04-05 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
[He bites his own lip, trying hard not to allow himself to cry-- not because he's ashamed, but because they need to still muddle through this, and tears won't help. But it's hard, because all of this is very nearly too much-- disappointment and assurance and I love you, so freely given that it's dizzying.]

We all fight. All of us, Kakyoin and Jotaro and Joseph and you and I-- and I forgot that.

[That they're all battle hardened, no matter how they might present themselves in their off moments. Jotaro is a deadly force of nature, even as he plays with his otter and gets flustered over Kakyoin. Giorno deliberately chose to doom a man to an eternity of agony, and yet he's crying against Polnareff's shoulder; and yet he'd leapt into Polnareff's arms the first day, chattering in Italian, so obvious in his delight to see him.

He doesn't know how to ask what he truly wants to know: is this version of me truly all right? Giorno says it is, that he's everything he ought to be, but he knows he's not-- not yet. He's not, because he saw the way Giorno's face closed, that slight nod, that acceptance that meant you messed up.

But he's something. Some rough version of himself, unpolished but getting there. And maybe that's enough, for now.

He sniffs, trying to steady himself, and smiles over at what he can see of Giorno.]


Mm, any other confessions we want to cover while we're here?
Edited 2016-04-05 05:23 (UTC)

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[personal profile] silvercrusader - 2016-04-05 05:53 (UTC) - Expand