Does it even matter? [He brings his legs up to his chest, curling under Giorno's arm as they settle on the couch. His hands are clenched tightly under folded arms, nails digging into his palms. The stinging keeps him just a little bit grounded, he feels.] I'm tired of... of hiding. Where do I go when there isn't any place left for me?
[In the end that's what will happen, won't it? He'll be on his own to protect himself, or try to, and it feels like nothing has changed from back home. It's always been him surviving any way he can and...
A stray tear escapes and slides down his cheek. Frustrated, he wipes it away with his palm. The angry red crescents left behind by his nails stark against his skin.] He could have killed me... he came so close and I- I know it. I could feel it- [He has to stop when he feels his voice breaking.]
God- I'm trying! I- I want to be better than... than this.
[He takes Dio's face in his hands, kisses his forehead, pulls him close again.]
You're doing so well, do you even realize how well? Always pushing yourself, better every day. But you're only human, you know. That's part of what makes you beautiful. Humans have weaknesses, and they always will, but the best part of being human is that you will never be alone.
[He taps Dio's chest, then his own.]
Your heart lives with me, and my heart lives with you. No matter what, you have a place with me. Do you hear what I'm saying? You are my family. You can be a Brando or not, but you are a Giovanna until you decide you don't want to be.
[This became so fierce, somehow; but then he softens and rests his cheek on top of Dio's head.]
I see you try. I see you try with every breath you take. Even if no one else sees, I see, I know.
[He hears that name and it's enough to bring him to more tears. They spill down his cheeks and hit Giorno's fingers in fat drops. It wasn't something he expected to hear, but hearing it like this was almost overwhelming. Moments like this were concrete proof of Giorno's love and even if it hurt it was a kind of hurt Dio didn't mind experiencing.] Better than... better than what they know me as. I'm not a monster.
[Giorno meant so much to him now that it was impossible to put it into words.
He hiccups quietly, listening to Giorno as he speaks and tries to take in everything he says. By now he's stopped trying to rub his cheeks, knowing he'll look like a mess no matter what he does.
Resting his head against Giorno's chest he can faintly hear his heartbeat. It's oddly calming. He sniffs waterly, voice just a little cracked.]
Don't... Don't you mean famigilia? [Even through a small panic attack he still chooses to be smart.]
[He reaches out to play with one of the buttons on Giorno's shirt, tugging at the loose thread ends. His pout deepens.]
I'm a perfectly good size for my age, I'll have you know. [More fidgeting.] Soon I'll be taller than everyone, including you, and then you can see how much you like being carted around like a sack of potatoes.
[Each kiss spreads a warmth through him, like the sun touching his skin for the first time. He turns his head to look up at Giorno, lips pulling into a pout.] Well now you just sound patronizing. I am definitely not kind.
My reputation is secure, thank you. Lots of people in the city find me intimidating and I hardly have to lift a finger for that. [He sticks out his tongue.]
I know. It's hard for me, too. It's only easier by a bit now because I've practiced.
[He taps Dio on the tip of his nose.]
I try to do it, though, because people get worried about me if I don't tell them how I'm feeling. Which is hard to understand, sometimes, but I try to do it anyway.
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[In the end that's what will happen, won't it? He'll be on his own to protect himself, or try to, and it feels like nothing has changed from back home. It's always been him surviving any way he can and...
A stray tear escapes and slides down his cheek. Frustrated, he wipes it away with his palm. The angry red crescents left behind by his nails stark against his skin.] He could have killed me... he came so close and I- I know it. I could feel it- [He has to stop when he feels his voice breaking.]
God- I'm trying! I- I want to be better than... than this.
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[He takes Dio's face in his hands, kisses his forehead, pulls him close again.]
You're doing so well, do you even realize how well? Always pushing yourself, better every day. But you're only human, you know. That's part of what makes you beautiful. Humans have weaknesses, and they always will, but the best part of being human is that you will never be alone.
[He taps Dio's chest, then his own.]
Your heart lives with me, and my heart lives with you. No matter what, you have a place with me. Do you hear what I'm saying? You are my family. You can be a Brando or not, but you are a Giovanna until you decide you don't want to be.
[This became so fierce, somehow; but then he softens and rests his cheek on top of Dio's head.]
I see you try. I see you try with every breath you take. Even if no one else sees, I see, I know.
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[Giorno meant so much to him now that it was impossible to put it into words.
He hiccups quietly, listening to Giorno as he speaks and tries to take in everything he says. By now he's stopped trying to rub his cheeks, knowing he'll look like a mess no matter what he does.
Resting his head against Giorno's chest he can faintly hear his heartbeat. It's oddly calming. He sniffs waterly, voice just a little cracked.]
Don't... Don't you mean famigilia? [Even through a small panic attack he still chooses to be smart.]
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[He can't help but grin at that, ruffling Dio's hair and kissing him on the forehead.]
You're right. You're my famiglia. My favorite little terror.
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I'm not little.
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[He rests his chin on Dio's forehead.]
But you wouldn't like it, I bet. I wouldn't do it if you wouldn't like it.
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I'm a perfectly good size for my age, I'll have you know. [More fidgeting.] Soon I'll be taller than everyone, including you, and then you can see how much you like being carted around like a sack of potatoes.
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[He grins, kissing Dio on the top of his head again.]
It'd be nice not to have to walk anywhere anymore. Thank you, Inizio, you're too kind.
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[He taps the tip of Dio's nose.]
Maybe you're ruining your own reputation, hm?
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My reputation is secure, thank you. Lots of people in the city find me intimidating and I hardly have to lift a finger for that. [He sticks out his tongue.]
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[He sticks out his tongue right back. What now.]
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[He hesitates, thinking about the question seriously. Then after a moment, he shakes his head.]
Not really. But some things scare me, which I think is a little different.
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[He hesitates for another moment, then bows his head a little, brushing Dio's curls out of his face.]
Getting hurt. People hurting me. Being weak.
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... I'm afraid of those things too. It's- it's hard to say it out loud.
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[He taps Dio on the tip of his nose.]
I try to do it, though, because people get worried about me if I don't tell them how I'm feeling. Which is hard to understand, sometimes, but I try to do it anyway.