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[and he continues, rapidly:]
Usually when this happens, I just ride it out. The last time it was one of my best friends, and let's be honest here, I'd just left the Shaolin temple on Special Forces' word and do you know how long it'd been since I'd seen a guy in damn near a bodysuit? Pretty friggin' long. But after one week of him mooning over this cute Thai girl he ran into whose grandma lived an hour from his village, I got over it. They met, like, twice. Straight guys. And Asher is disgustingly straight, you should hear the-- bullshit [HUFF]-- I hate it so much I'd just deck him if we weren't friends, but I get mixed signals sometimes and maybe that's just wishful thinking? It's just because he was a frat guy once, right? Am I insane? I'm probably insane, I'd have to be if I'm on this team and that's who I wound up crushing on!
[strangled teakettle noise...]
I'm going outside, I need to sit in the cold or-- or punch a tree or something.
Usually when this happens, I just ride it out. The last time it was one of my best friends, and let's be honest here, I'd just left the Shaolin temple on Special Forces' word and do you know how long it'd been since I'd seen a guy in damn near a bodysuit? Pretty friggin' long. But after one week of him mooning over this cute Thai girl he ran into whose grandma lived an hour from his village, I got over it. They met, like, twice. Straight guys. And Asher is disgustingly straight, you should hear the-- bullshit [HUFF]-- I hate it so much I'd just deck him if we weren't friends, but I get mixed signals sometimes and maybe that's just wishful thinking? It's just because he was a frat guy once, right? Am I insane? I'm probably insane, I'd have to be if I'm on this team and that's who I wound up crushing on!
[strangled teakettle noise...]
I'm going outside, I need to sit in the cold or-- or punch a tree or something.
[Because Giorno is usually an asshole, he doesn't answer this message right away. He takes a couple of minutes to think about it. He lets Jin dangle.]
[And because sometimes he chooses not to be an asshole, his ultimate response is:]
What kind of tea do you like best?
[And because sometimes he chooses not to be an asshole, his ultimate response is:]
What kind of tea do you like best?
[Yikes is right. This is multiple months of y i k e s that Giorno is delving into right here.
Jin exhales heavily (who knows, maybe he did actually punch a tree).]
Jasmine.
Jin exhales heavily (who knows, maybe he did actually punch a tree).]
Jasmine.
I meditated for a bit. [He took an Angry Walk and scared the shit out of some poor ALASTAIR groundskeeper.]
I'll go back inside.
I'll go back inside.
All right. Come find my room.
[Which is where he'll be, a cup of coffee in his lap, a cup of tea on the little table under his loft. Both beds are empty, neatly made. Actually, everything's neat, except for the little pile of bobby pins on the other corner of the table.]
[Which is where he'll be, a cup of coffee in his lap, a cup of tea on the little table under his loft. Both beds are empty, neatly made. Actually, everything's neat, except for the little pile of bobby pins on the other corner of the table.]
[It doesn't take too long for Jin to track Giorno's room down, fortunately; he politely, almost meekly (if it weren't him, he is never quite meek), pushes his way past the door and to the seat that awaits him.
The inside is put together. More than he'd guess at from a teenage boy-- but then again, Giorno Giovanna is no ordinary teenage boy. The reminder of the fact draws back that general feeling of sheepishness that comes along with being repeatedly, well. Schooled by Giorno, and his voice when he responds is gruff out of, mostly, embarrassment.
He doesn't talk about himself like this. He rarely deals with any feelings quite like this, either. Kung Jin is all pride and strength and stubbornness and justice: never any good at matters of the heart, not ever.]
...Do you get why all of that is a problem.
The inside is put together. More than he'd guess at from a teenage boy-- but then again, Giorno Giovanna is no ordinary teenage boy. The reminder of the fact draws back that general feeling of sheepishness that comes along with being repeatedly, well. Schooled by Giorno, and his voice when he responds is gruff out of, mostly, embarrassment.
He doesn't talk about himself like this. He rarely deals with any feelings quite like this, either. Kung Jin is all pride and strength and stubbornness and justice: never any good at matters of the heart, not ever.]
...Do you get why all of that is a problem.
[The fact that you're desperate?]
[No, okay, he doesn't say that. He doesn't actually want Jin to shut down. It's just funny, to him, that Jin thinks this is a terribly unique problem. Or that misogyny is the reserve of straight men, but you know. We take baby steps here.]
[He sips his coffee, then glances towards Jin and, in a seamless move, slips up onto the edge of the table and nudges the chair out with his toe.]
Of course I do. Sit. Drink your tea.
[It smells like flowers in here, and old library books.]
[No, okay, he doesn't say that. He doesn't actually want Jin to shut down. It's just funny, to him, that Jin thinks this is a terribly unique problem. Or that misogyny is the reserve of straight men, but you know. We take baby steps here.]
[He sips his coffee, then glances towards Jin and, in a seamless move, slips up onto the edge of the table and nudges the chair out with his toe.]
Of course I do. Sit. Drink your tea.
[It smells like flowers in here, and old library books.]
[Jin casts Giorno, then the teacup, a dubious glance, but at last sits and takes the offered tea.
The cup radiating heat in his hands, the mingling aroma of flowers, books with dog-eared, torn pages-- there's a calming effect on him. He doesn't know Giorno especially well, nor is there any way for Giorno to know how many hours Jin breathed in this same paper scent in the rows and rows of the Shaolin's archives. He expects that this was pretty well intentional, anyway. Giorno is definitely that type.
Jin takes a quiet sip. He peers across the table at Giorno expectantly.]
The cup radiating heat in his hands, the mingling aroma of flowers, books with dog-eared, torn pages-- there's a calming effect on him. He doesn't know Giorno especially well, nor is there any way for Giorno to know how many hours Jin breathed in this same paper scent in the rows and rows of the Shaolin's archives. He expects that this was pretty well intentional, anyway. Giorno is definitely that type.
Jin takes a quiet sip. He peers across the table at Giorno expectantly.]
[Funnily enough, none of this is scripted. That's the strange thing about Giorno: he has the capacity to be wholly genuine, underneath all the artifice. He's terrible at it, usually, and an awful know-it-all, but he sometimes tries. It smells like flowers because he smells like flowers; it smells like old books because Fugo lives here, too; he offered tea instead of coffee because tea is more calming.]
[This is the best way he knows to help. He isn't sure it's going to work, but he cares about Jin enough to want to try.]
I'm not going to bite you.
[#vampirejoke. He pulls himself further up onto the desk, crosses his legs on the edge like it's a sofa, and cups his coffee in both hands.]
You're upset about a lot of different things. I think there was a question in there, too. Where do you want to start?
[This is the best way he knows to help. He isn't sure it's going to work, but he cares about Jin enough to want to try.]
I'm not going to bite you.
[#vampirejoke. He pulls himself further up onto the desk, crosses his legs on the edge like it's a sofa, and cups his coffee in both hands.]
You're upset about a lot of different things. I think there was a question in there, too. Where do you want to start?
I asked if you thought I was crazy. I know I'm not.
[He inhales a little of the steam coming off the surface of the tea. Perhaps it's less intent, on Giorno's behalf, and more intuition. The kid's not a mind-reader, as far as he knows (and he has met mind-readers, real unsubtle bunch).
Hopefully, it's a good sign that he's become a bit less inscrutable to Giorno. That's something like consistency: soothing, oddly, right along with the tea.
Jin blinks, lowering his eyes. He's honest. There's no longer any use in giving anything but that.] Even if getting dragged around all the wrong places by your heart feels a lot like it.
[He inhales a little of the steam coming off the surface of the tea. Perhaps it's less intent, on Giorno's behalf, and more intuition. The kid's not a mind-reader, as far as he knows (and he has met mind-readers, real unsubtle bunch).
Hopefully, it's a good sign that he's become a bit less inscrutable to Giorno. That's something like consistency: soothing, oddly, right along with the tea.
Jin blinks, lowering his eyes. He's honest. There's no longer any use in giving anything but that.] Even if getting dragged around all the wrong places by your heart feels a lot like it.
[It's definitely an improvement. Everything about this is an improvement, really. Giorno knows better than anyone that you sometimes have to push people to their breaking point to get through to them. This isn't quite Jin's breaking point, probably, but it's a big push.]
[It's clear, too, that he feels safe with Jin. Something subtle in the posture, the way he lets himself clamber around in a way that's a little more childlike. His nails drum on the side of his mug.]
Mm, well. You know I have an opinion on everything. Mostly, I just think people are complicated. Feelings are complicated. Feelings are stupid.
[Look at him, deliberately not looking at Fugo's loft bed, or the drawer where he keeps his gun, or . . .]
They're hard to stop, though.
[It's clear, too, that he feels safe with Jin. Something subtle in the posture, the way he lets himself clamber around in a way that's a little more childlike. His nails drum on the side of his mug.]
Mm, well. You know I have an opinion on everything. Mostly, I just think people are complicated. Feelings are complicated. Feelings are stupid.
[Look at him, deliberately not looking at Fugo's loft bed, or the drawer where he keeps his gun, or . . .]
They're hard to stop, though.
[It's further than practically anyone on their team's reached-- well, excluding the root of Jin's big gay headache himself, anyway. And it's a delicate position to be in, even in the relative security they can both hold onto in the quiet confines of Giorno's room.
(And fortunately for Giorno, he's too distracted by his own #drama to take note of any of Fugo's things.)
He shifts in his chair; sets the cup down.]
You can say that again. I don't-- [want to feel this way, he nearly blurts, but that's a bolder lie than even he'd ever tell. Of course he wants to keep that foolish, weightless emotion in his chest. But feelings are complicated. Feelings are stupid. There's no instinctive, uncomplicated action to take when all the roads that verge from where he stands are gnarled and knotted, twisted together.
It'd be easier to feel nothing. But he could never, ever feel nothing.]
--I don't think anything's gonna come of them. But I do care about Asher, no matter what happens. Even if he's frustrating the hell out of me.
(And fortunately for Giorno, he's too distracted by his own #drama to take note of any of Fugo's things.)
He shifts in his chair; sets the cup down.]
You can say that again. I don't-- [want to feel this way, he nearly blurts, but that's a bolder lie than even he'd ever tell. Of course he wants to keep that foolish, weightless emotion in his chest. But feelings are complicated. Feelings are stupid. There's no instinctive, uncomplicated action to take when all the roads that verge from where he stands are gnarled and knotted, twisted together.
It'd be easier to feel nothing. But he could never, ever feel nothing.]
--I don't think anything's gonna come of them. But I do care about Asher, no matter what happens. Even if he's frustrating the hell out of me.
[He'd have called Jin on that. It feels good to be in love. It feels amazing. Even when it hurts. As it is, the answer makes him smile--one of the few genuine, warm smiles Jin's received from Giorno in the time they've known each other.]
I know you do. And he cares about you, no matter how much you're worrying him. Which is a lot. He wouldn't stop talking about it the first time we talked.
[His tone is fond. It was a good foot for him and Asher to get off on. Much better than pretty much any other foot, honestly.]
Even if nothing comes of it, it's a good feeling. Just-- [He rests his knuckles against his chest.] Warm. [And those are the best words he has to describe it, really.]
[. . . But then.]
You did sound a little desperate, though. [OH WAIT THERE IT IS.]
I know you do. And he cares about you, no matter how much you're worrying him. Which is a lot. He wouldn't stop talking about it the first time we talked.
[His tone is fond. It was a good foot for him and Asher to get off on. Much better than pretty much any other foot, honestly.]
Even if nothing comes of it, it's a good feeling. Just-- [He rests his knuckles against his chest.] Warm. [And those are the best words he has to describe it, really.]
[. . . But then.]
You did sound a little desperate, though. [OH WAIT THERE IT IS.]
[LEANS FORWARD.... HE'S A TORTURED SOUL, GIORNO]
Men are confusing and I hate them.
Men are confusing and I hate them.
[He's not so willing as Giorno to call the feeling what it is by name, warmth in his chest or no. Jin does love Asher-- he'd move mountains, if he needed, to keep him happy. Or allow himself be blackmailed to keep him safe. Stepping past the threshold to an 'in love', however...
He's not prepared for that. Friendship had been a journey in and of itself. Even for Jin, the risk seems nearly incalculable.]
After I got hurt on the field. That was the first time you'd talked?
He's not prepared for that. Friendship had been a journey in and of itself. Even for Jin, the risk seems nearly incalculable.]
After I got hurt on the field. That was the first time you'd talked?
[Well. Yeah, he's gotta grin at that.]
Men are inexplicable and stupid, Jin. That's just a fact.
[But then, more pensively:] It was, yes. It was actually a very nice conversation, once I got over the username, which took some doing. The way he talked about you reminded me of the way I talk about a friend of mine.
Men are inexplicable and stupid, Jin. That's just a fact.
[But then, more pensively:] It was, yes. It was actually a very nice conversation, once I got over the username, which took some doing. The way he talked about you reminded me of the way I talk about a friend of mine.
Emphasis on the stupid.
[Believe him, he's dealt with the username??? He can just change it...]
Is that the same friend you told me about, the one you made a promise to?
[Believe him, he's dealt with the username??? He can just change it...]
Is that the same friend you told me about, the one you made a promise to?
Mm, no. Different stupid boy.
[Because Giorno Giovanna #getsaround. He smiles faintly at nothing much and sips his coffee.]
You were right about that anyway. But no, this is someone else who used to be very self-sacrificing before I convinced him not to be.
[Because Giorno Giovanna #getsaround. He smiles faintly at nothing much and sips his coffee.]
You were right about that anyway. But no, this is someone else who used to be very self-sacrificing before I convinced him not to be.
[teach him your boy wrangling ways, don giovanna
The warmth in Giorno's face shows that he caresfive for this stupid boy just as much, and the smile's contagious.] Must be an epidemic among dumb guys. You should tell me about this one too.
[...]
After you explain that. What do you mean, I was right?
The warmth in Giorno's face shows that he cares
[...]
After you explain that. What do you mean, I was right?
Hm?
[He blinks and looks up at Jin over the rim of his mug. Oh. Right. He just sort of assumed that everyone knew Fugo was here and was as overjoyed about it as he is. Except Kaz, nothing makes Kaz happy.]
Oh. You were right. I get to keep my promise, because he showed up here.
[He blinks and looks up at Jin over the rim of his mug. Oh. Right. He just sort of assumed that everyone knew Fugo was here and was as overjoyed about it as he is. Except Kaz, nothing makes Kaz happy.]
Oh. You were right. I get to keep my promise, because he showed up here.
[Jin thinks back to that one skinny kid he'd spotted earlier this month, wandering around and sweeping snow. Come to think of it, he'd seen Giorno milling around him quite a lot, hadn't he?
His expression brightens, and he smiles, genuinely pleased at that bit of good news.]
So that was him. I was wondering whether that was the case. How's he doing?
His expression brightens, and he smiles, genuinely pleased at that bit of good news.]
So that was him. I was wondering whether that was the case. How's he doing?
[For a moment Giorno looks at Jin very critically. What he's doing, although it's not at all clear, is checking to see if the concern is genuine. His protectiveness of Fugo is immediately apparent, although Jin pretty much already knows.]
[After a few moments, his sudden sharp frown evens out.]
. . . Decently. He knows he's not alone now, which helps.
He isn't well. But he's not as unwell as he could be, I suppose.
[After a few moments, his sudden sharp frown evens out.]
. . . Decently. He knows he's not alone now, which helps.
He isn't well. But he's not as unwell as he could be, I suppose.
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