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. . . Ah. No, not quite. You said—
[He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to remember.]
You saw what happened . . . what I did. The end of it, at least. How by the end he couldn't see, or feel, and . . . then you saw him die for good. And at the funeral, I—
[His shoulders are tense, shuddering a little. It's still not far enough in the past to have stopped hurting.]
I just shut down. Because I felt like I'd made him suffer unnecessarily, and you said . . . "I understand the impulse, capo," that's what you said to me. And later you told me about your sister, so I just — I wasn't sure. And there wasn't time to ask, everything was so chaotic.
[He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to remember.]
You saw what happened . . . what I did. The end of it, at least. How by the end he couldn't see, or feel, and . . . then you saw him die for good. And at the funeral, I—
[His shoulders are tense, shuddering a little. It's still not far enough in the past to have stopped hurting.]
I just shut down. Because I felt like I'd made him suffer unnecessarily, and you said . . . "I understand the impulse, capo," that's what you said to me. And later you told me about your sister, so I just — I wasn't sure. And there wasn't time to ask, everything was so chaotic.
[Maybe they shouldn't talk about this. Not everything has to be a serious conversation, and if he wanted to, he could turn it back towards irrelevant. Make a joke, or brush it off. Make it something stupid.
But the more he learns about Giorno, the more he understands why he stays with him in the future. Polnareff slips his arm over Giorno's shoulders again, tugging him in close.]
There was this Stand . . . Judgement, who granted wishes.
[He shrugs.]
Sounds stupid when I say it, but I thought-- well, if it was shit, no harm done, and if it wasn't . . . if I hadn't wished that, I'd always wonder.
[Stupid. It seems obvious now in retrospect that such a thing wouldn't be possible-- but who could resist the temptation?]
There was a man-- a man we traveled with, one I'd thought had died. Abdul, I don't know if Kakyoin or Jotaro have mentioned him. I wished for him and Sherry to come back. And I got my wish, in a way, but not-- not at all what I wanted. They weren't them, just-- puppets, made to imitate them.
[A long few seconds-- and then he exhales harshly, dismissing his thoughts.]
Anyway. Abdul wasn't dead, and it was him who saved my ass. Destroyed those puppets and taught me about-- the dead staying dead.
But the more he learns about Giorno, the more he understands why he stays with him in the future. Polnareff slips his arm over Giorno's shoulders again, tugging him in close.]
There was this Stand . . . Judgement, who granted wishes.
[He shrugs.]
Sounds stupid when I say it, but I thought-- well, if it was shit, no harm done, and if it wasn't . . . if I hadn't wished that, I'd always wonder.
[Stupid. It seems obvious now in retrospect that such a thing wouldn't be possible-- but who could resist the temptation?]
There was a man-- a man we traveled with, one I'd thought had died. Abdul, I don't know if Kakyoin or Jotaro have mentioned him. I wished for him and Sherry to come back. And I got my wish, in a way, but not-- not at all what I wanted. They weren't them, just-- puppets, made to imitate them.
[A long few seconds-- and then he exhales harshly, dismissing his thoughts.]
Anyway. Abdul wasn't dead, and it was him who saved my ass. Destroyed those puppets and taught me about-- the dead staying dead.
Abdul . . . Jotaro told me . . .
[His lip wobbles a little, and he assumes what has become his secondary position during these sorts of talks with Polnareff: tucked up close with his face pressed against Polnareff's side, unwilling to look out at the world, because it's not safe. Not for people like them. Not for people like Abdul, he knows.]
He told me that . . . Bruno . . . reminded him of Abdul. My Bruno, I.
[He takes Polnareff's hand in his and tugs his arm tighter around his shoulders. It's a lie to think that no one can harm him when Polnareff is there, but he tries to believe it anyway.]
I . . . was Judgment, really. I thought I could do it. And if I had a wish, that's what it would have been.
[His lip wobbles a little, and he assumes what has become his secondary position during these sorts of talks with Polnareff: tucked up close with his face pressed against Polnareff's side, unwilling to look out at the world, because it's not safe. Not for people like them. Not for people like Abdul, he knows.]
He told me that . . . Bruno . . . reminded him of Abdul. My Bruno, I.
[He takes Polnareff's hand in his and tugs his arm tighter around his shoulders. It's a lie to think that no one can harm him when Polnareff is there, but he tries to believe it anyway.]
I . . . was Judgment, really. I thought I could do it. And if I had a wish, that's what it would have been.
No.
[He says it firmly, and his voice is rough-- but his grip on Giorno doesn't waver. He settles his head atop Giorno's, tucking him in close.]
You weren't Judgement. Judgement gave me that choice knowing what it was he was doing; how false his promise was. He did it because he liked to see people suffer. There's a difference between what he did and trying to bring someone back because you-- you love them.
[He says it firmly, and his voice is rough-- but his grip on Giorno doesn't waver. He settles his head atop Giorno's, tucking him in close.]
You weren't Judgement. Judgement gave me that choice knowing what it was he was doing; how false his promise was. He did it because he liked to see people suffer. There's a difference between what he did and trying to bring someone back because you-- you love them.
hmmm
...okay i need to ask one other thing but don't give me a hard time about it okay
so it's pretty normal to...i guess it's like, warming up to something new? it's pretty normal to do that slowly. or to feel weird about it at first. that's normal?
...okay i need to ask one other thing but don't give me a hard time about it okay
so it's pretty normal to...i guess it's like, warming up to something new? it's pretty normal to do that slowly. or to feel weird about it at first. that's normal?
. . . oh . . .
[His voice is so small. He burrows in closer, tucks his knees up underneath him. He feels so sad, but in a distant, aching way. And there's a bloom of sweetness in his chest, too, that after a moment he identifies as "belonging".]
So maybe I . . . was more like you? Like a hero . . . or at least trying to be one?
[His voice is so small. He burrows in closer, tucks his knees up underneath him. He feels so sad, but in a distant, aching way. And there's a bloom of sweetness in his chest, too, that after a moment he identifies as "belonging".]
So maybe I . . . was more like you? Like a hero . . . or at least trying to be one?
Of course you were.
[He says it and he means it-- but in case Giorno takes it as simple pandering:]
You were trying to keep your friend alive. You were trying to do right. I don't think . . . I think it's something that's too tempting not to try, when you're faced with someone you love dying, when you have the power to change things.
[A beat-- and then he kisses the top of Giorno's head, just as he would Sherry when she was upset.]
[He says it and he means it-- but in case Giorno takes it as simple pandering:]
You were trying to keep your friend alive. You were trying to do right. I don't think . . . I think it's something that's too tempting not to try, when you're faced with someone you love dying, when you have the power to change things.
[A beat-- and then he kisses the top of Giorno's head, just as he would Sherry when she was upset.]
Yeah. I think you're right.
[Polnareff kisses him, and he wriggles a little, loosening his grip. He feels safer with little bits and pieces of affection like that, safe enough to look up with a crooked smile.]
You said something like that, too. After you said you understood. It was almost exactly that, "too tempting not to try".
[Polnareff kisses him, and he wriggles a little, loosening his grip. He feels safer with little bits and pieces of affection like that, safe enough to look up with a crooked smile.]
You said something like that, too. After you said you understood. It was almost exactly that, "too tempting not to try".
[He wonders if there will always be the moment of relief that comes after successfully navigating emotions. The little internal sigh that means you didn't mess up. He wonders if thirty-six year old Polnareff has that moment, or if he's matured enough not to need it.
He pulls back as Giorno does, though he still keeps an arm around him.]
I know I'd have always regretted it if I hadn't tried.
[A beat, and then:]
You would have liked her, you know. Sherry.
He pulls back as Giorno does, though he still keeps an arm around him.]
I know I'd have always regretted it if I hadn't tried.
[A beat, and then:]
You would have liked her, you know. Sherry.
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