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'S easier like this. When it's all just out in the open and there's no lying.
[He exhales slowly, his eyes closing.]
After all this is over-- you can ask me to say stuff like that again, if you need to hear it. Or just want to hear it.
[He exhales slowly, his eyes closing.]
After all this is over-- you can ask me to say stuff like that again, if you need to hear it. Or just want to hear it.
[He usually invents a reason for his nighttime visits. He loves Giorno and Giorno loves him, but you still can't go around just visiting people for no reason. They might get the wrong idea, like you liked spending time with them or something.
But this week, there's no filter-- so Polnareff knocks at Giorno's door and calls:]
Oye! I want to spend time with you, you up?
[He's still got his light on, so. Probably? But just in case--]
I'll brush your hair if you haven't done that whole routine yet.
[The ultimate temptation.]
But this week, there's no filter-- so Polnareff knocks at Giorno's door and calls:]
Oye! I want to spend time with you, you up?
[He's still got his light on, so. Probably? But just in case--]
I'll brush your hair if you haven't done that whole routine yet.
[The ultimate temptation.]
[Actually, shockingly, Giorno is asleep. He fell asleep with a book on his face. This happens sometimes; it's not terribly unusual. But he doesn't like falling asleep outside of his routine, so he isn't that annoyed when Polnareff knocks on the door. Just disoriented.]
[He takes a minute to get up, unfolding himself out of the bed and blinking at the clock before carefully putting his bookmark in his book and setting it aside on the bedside table. Then he pads sleepily to the door and opens it, rubbing his eyes.]
I fell asleep. Hi. You can come in.
[He takes a minute to get up, unfolding himself out of the bed and blinking at the clock before carefully putting his bookmark in his book and setting it aside on the bedside table. Then he pads sleepily to the door and opens it, rubbing his eyes.]
I fell asleep. Hi. You can come in.
Woah.
[That's . . . the first thing that comes out of his mouth. Which is not, probably, what you should say when your son greets you in non-traditional sleepwear, you should be more accepting, but--
Woah.]
Wow. That's. Is that-- who did-- was there a-- is that, is that what you sleep in? For real?
[That's . . . the first thing that comes out of his mouth. Which is not, probably, what you should say when your son greets you in non-traditional sleepwear, you should be more accepting, but--
Woah.]
Wow. That's. Is that-- who did-- was there a-- is that, is that what you sleep in? For real?
[. . . Giorno squints up at him. And yawns, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. Opens his mouth again to answer, yawns again, makes an attempt.]
Yes.
[And then he blinks a few times and recedes back into the room, hand on the doorknob.]
I can brush my own hair if you're going to be awful.
Yes.
[And then he blinks a few times and recedes back into the room, hand on the doorknob.]
I can brush my own hair if you're going to be awful.
I'm not being awful!
[He follows him into the room, closing the door behind him.]
I'm reacting like anyone would if they opened the door and suddenly saw their son-friend in a girly shift! I mean, god, can you imagine Jotaro opening the door like that?
[He can, actually. Not Kakyoin, because Kakyoin is and was the kind of person who brought sensible pajamas with him even while mind-controlled, but Jotaro . . . yeah, he could picture that. He didn't want to, but he could, now, and was.
He's not looking at Giorno, by the way. He's looking above him, some two feet above him.]
[He follows him into the room, closing the door behind him.]
I'm reacting like anyone would if they opened the door and suddenly saw their son-friend in a girly shift! I mean, god, can you imagine Jotaro opening the door like that?
[He can, actually. Not Kakyoin, because Kakyoin is and was the kind of person who brought sensible pajamas with him even while mind-controlled, but Jotaro . . . yeah, he could picture that. He didn't want to, but he could, now, and was.
He's not looking at Giorno, by the way. He's looking above him, some two feet above him.]
Yeah, and I didn't expect to see lace! Or you in something I'd like to see a girl in! We're stupid about it because there's a lot of conflicting signals!
[But he's sprawling on the floor in the traditional come-sit-in-front-of-me pose, so. Clearly he's not so horrified he can't attend to Giorno's hair.]
I mean, jeez, Giorno, you're a guy.
[But he's sprawling on the floor in the traditional come-sit-in-front-of-me pose, so. Clearly he's not so horrified he can't attend to Giorno's hair.]
I mean, jeez, Giorno, you're a guy.
Well, I'll put up a warning sign for the future. At least Kakyoin was polite about it.
[Everyone is the worst. Except Kakyoin who is the best.]
[He sighs, LOUDLY, and digs his hairbrush out of the drawer, tossing it to Polnareff before crossing over to sit.]
So what?
[Everyone is the worst. Except Kakyoin who is the best.]
[He sighs, LOUDLY, and digs his hairbrush out of the drawer, tossing it to Polnareff before crossing over to sit.]
So what?
So there's junk girls wear and junk guys wear.
[Ergo: this is not acceptable. But now that the initial shock is wearing off, Polnareff feels his humor returning, and so he adds:]
Don't huff at me. If you saw me in that kind of getup, you'd react just the same, I bet.
[His hands are gentle as they take Giorno's hair, though-- he's getting fairly good at this, if he says so himself. He starts on the left, just at the bottom, brushing out the minor tangles that have gathered.]
[Ergo: this is not acceptable. But now that the initial shock is wearing off, Polnareff feels his humor returning, and so he adds:]
Don't huff at me. If you saw me in that kind of getup, you'd react just the same, I bet.
[His hands are gentle as they take Giorno's hair, though-- he's getting fairly good at this, if he says so himself. He starts on the left, just at the bottom, brushing out the minor tangles that have gathered.]
Who says?
[He rolls his eyes at the opposite wall, but leans back into Polnareff's touch anyway. It's true, he's getting good at this, and the routine is nice. It's nice to have someone want to be close to him like this, to take care of him. He isn't really sure how to categorize it, as a friend thing or a family thing, and that bothers him a little, but, well.]
[He's adaptable. More than some people.]
No, I'd be impressed, actually. This is how I expected you to react. If I learned you didn't arbitrarily confine yourself by stupid rules, I'd be proud of you.
[He rolls his eyes at the opposite wall, but leans back into Polnareff's touch anyway. It's true, he's getting good at this, and the routine is nice. It's nice to have someone want to be close to him like this, to take care of him. He isn't really sure how to categorize it, as a friend thing or a family thing, and that bothers him a little, but, well.]
[He's adaptable. More than some people.]
No, I'd be impressed, actually. This is how I expected you to react. If I learned you didn't arbitrarily confine yourself by stupid rules, I'd be proud of you.
They're not stupid. It's-- you know-- social shit. Norms. Like the same reason you don't-- I don't know-- wear your underwear outside your pants. You could, but you don't.
[Apparently one-thirty in the morning is the time you start to learn about gender confines, who knew.]
And that can't be comfortable to sleep in.
[Apparently one-thirty in the morning is the time you start to learn about gender confines, who knew.]
And that can't be comfortable to sleep in.
Oh, honestly.
[He twists around and pokes Polnareff in the shoulder.]
You're not worried about my comfort. That's just what people say when they're not comfortable. I do plenty of things that aren't normal. I could turn that hairbrush into a snake. I'm in a relationship with a subordinate. I treat my preteen father like a brother. You don't comment on those.
What actually bothers you about it?
[He twists around and pokes Polnareff in the shoulder.]
You're not worried about my comfort. That's just what people say when they're not comfortable. I do plenty of things that aren't normal. I could turn that hairbrush into a snake. I'm in a relationship with a subordinate. I treat my preteen father like a brother. You don't comment on those.
What actually bothers you about it?
It's sexy. And that's weird, when it's you, because I don't like to think about you in that way, ever, even though I know you know about sex, and probably have done it, but it's weird for me to think about it.
[All that is true, and more that he would have normally said. But then:]
And it's for a girl, which you aren't, and it's weird to me. I don't know why, it just is, skirts and dresses and all that, they're for girls, and you're not a girl, and it's-- off. Jarring. I don't know why, it just is.
[--and then:]
And it does look uncomfortable. I always thought that, even with girls, I never understood how they could sleep in that junk. I mean, yeah, it's sexy, I really liked it when they put it on, but it always seemed like they'd be more comfortable in one of my t-shirts.
[All that is true, and more that he would have normally said. But then:]
And it's for a girl, which you aren't, and it's weird to me. I don't know why, it just is, skirts and dresses and all that, they're for girls, and you're not a girl, and it's-- off. Jarring. I don't know why, it just is.
[--and then:]
And it does look uncomfortable. I always thought that, even with girls, I never understood how they could sleep in that junk. I mean, yeah, it's sexy, I really liked it when they put it on, but it always seemed like they'd be more comfortable in one of my t-shirts.
Ugh.
[He twists back around and rubs at his eyes again, then leans back against Polnareff, tucks his head under his chin. It's a minor sulk, for him, but still a sulk. Which doesn't mean he's going to stop talking, of course. God forbid.]
I'm not wearing it for you. I'm wearing it for me, because I like it. It makes me feel comfortable and good and pretty, and it's my clothing in my room, so why should I be dressing for someone else?
It's not for a girl, anyway. It's mine. It was made for me and I paid for it. You might as well look in my closet while you're here, I have as many dresses as I have suits, I just don't wear them as often.
And anyway, it's soft on the inside. I don't wear anything that isn't. Life's too short to be ugly or uncomfortable.
[He twists back around and rubs at his eyes again, then leans back against Polnareff, tucks his head under his chin. It's a minor sulk, for him, but still a sulk. Which doesn't mean he's going to stop talking, of course. God forbid.]
I'm not wearing it for you. I'm wearing it for me, because I like it. It makes me feel comfortable and good and pretty, and it's my clothing in my room, so why should I be dressing for someone else?
It's not for a girl, anyway. It's mine. It was made for me and I paid for it. You might as well look in my closet while you're here, I have as many dresses as I have suits, I just don't wear them as often.
And anyway, it's soft on the inside. I don't wear anything that isn't. Life's too short to be ugly or uncomfortable.
All right, all right--
[He murmurs that quietly enough. He can understand the logic in Giorno's words, but applying it to his own emotions is another thing entirely. It still feels weird, weird weird weird-- but he loves Giorno, so he lets the concept settle in his mind, his mouth twitching as he tries to understand.
It's difficult. It's really difficult, which makes him think maybe he's missing something. Because-- okay, yeah, again, he can follow that logic easily enough. Giorno bought it, and Giorno is a guy, so by association anything he wears is, in fact, something a guy would wear, no matter if it's lacy or frilly or whatever. And clearly he likes it, which-- good for him, okay, the kid deserves whatever makes him happy. But--
There are things you do and things you don't do, as a man. Presumably it's the same for women. There's things you wear and say and buy and do, and you follow that invisible code all your life, because if you don't, you're an outsider. And to a certain extent, you can break that code-- you can be too noisy or too nosy or too overwhelming-- but not too much, because then you weren't normal. You weren't Normal, you were someone strange and maybe wrong.
But . . . it's Giorno. And while Polnareff honestly could have lived without ever seeing any of his friends in any kind of lingerie-- well, if this is what makes Giorno happy, Polnareff is going to come in and make him feel bad about it.]
I don't get it.
[But that's not an argument, just a statement. He doesn't get it, but that doesn't mean he necessarily disapproves anymore.]
And maybe you can explain it to me more. It's still . . . I don't understand. But I mean--
[He wrinkles his nose. You can keep wearing it makes it sound like Giorno was waiting for Polnareff's permission, which is both incorrect and incredibly arrogant, and that's not what he means.]
I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, if you-- you know-- wear shit like that in front of me. It just took me by surprise.
[Summer is coming, after all. There were likely be skirts.]
[He murmurs that quietly enough. He can understand the logic in Giorno's words, but applying it to his own emotions is another thing entirely. It still feels weird, weird weird weird-- but he loves Giorno, so he lets the concept settle in his mind, his mouth twitching as he tries to understand.
It's difficult. It's really difficult, which makes him think maybe he's missing something. Because-- okay, yeah, again, he can follow that logic easily enough. Giorno bought it, and Giorno is a guy, so by association anything he wears is, in fact, something a guy would wear, no matter if it's lacy or frilly or whatever. And clearly he likes it, which-- good for him, okay, the kid deserves whatever makes him happy. But--
There are things you do and things you don't do, as a man. Presumably it's the same for women. There's things you wear and say and buy and do, and you follow that invisible code all your life, because if you don't, you're an outsider. And to a certain extent, you can break that code-- you can be too noisy or too nosy or too overwhelming-- but not too much, because then you weren't normal. You weren't Normal, you were someone strange and maybe wrong.
But . . . it's Giorno. And while Polnareff honestly could have lived without ever seeing any of his friends in any kind of lingerie-- well, if this is what makes Giorno happy, Polnareff is going to come in and make him feel bad about it.]
I don't get it.
[But that's not an argument, just a statement. He doesn't get it, but that doesn't mean he necessarily disapproves anymore.]
And maybe you can explain it to me more. It's still . . . I don't understand. But I mean--
[He wrinkles his nose. You can keep wearing it makes it sound like Giorno was waiting for Polnareff's permission, which is both incorrect and incredibly arrogant, and that's not what he means.]
I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, if you-- you know-- wear shit like that in front of me. It just took me by surprise.
[Summer is coming, after all. There were likely be skirts.]
[That he doesn't mind so much. And it occurs to him, extremely belatedly, that maybe he should apologize to Jotaro. But that's something for another day. As it is, he lets his head roll back a little as he looks up at Polnareff thoughtfully.]
[He's obviously trying. He cares, so he's trying to understand. But it's obviously harder for him than it was for Kakyoin, who, even if he didn't completely understand, acknowledged that and let it slide off and resolved to pay attention until it made sense. That's just what Kakyoin does, who Kakyoin is. It's not who Polnareff is.]
[So Giorno thinks for a moment about what he knows about his home, and what he knows about France, the ways they're similar and different, and he thinks . . .]
[Well. He sighs.]
I get annoyed. There's a reason I only do a little bit at a time, you know, for every day. I don't want to have this fucking conversation all the time, because I get annoyed, and I don't want to get annoyed with my friends. And I use it sometimes, on purpose, to throw people off their guard — people I want to underestimate me or be confused by me. It's already there, so why not?
But you're not one of those people, so I don't want to be annoyed with you. I want you to understand. But you're all hung up, aren't you . . .
[He's obviously trying. He cares, so he's trying to understand. But it's obviously harder for him than it was for Kakyoin, who, even if he didn't completely understand, acknowledged that and let it slide off and resolved to pay attention until it made sense. That's just what Kakyoin does, who Kakyoin is. It's not who Polnareff is.]
[So Giorno thinks for a moment about what he knows about his home, and what he knows about France, the ways they're similar and different, and he thinks . . .]
[Well. He sighs.]
I get annoyed. There's a reason I only do a little bit at a time, you know, for every day. I don't want to have this fucking conversation all the time, because I get annoyed, and I don't want to get annoyed with my friends. And I use it sometimes, on purpose, to throw people off their guard — people I want to underestimate me or be confused by me. It's already there, so why not?
But you're not one of those people, so I don't want to be annoyed with you. I want you to understand. But you're all hung up, aren't you . . .
You don't have to, if you don't want to-- if it annoys you that much.
[Which might have sounded passive-aggressive at any other time, but Polnareff truly means it-- and it's not as if he can say anything but what he means right now.]
I'll just bug Kakyion until he explains it, he's used to that shit with me.
[Which might have sounded passive-aggressive at any other time, but Polnareff truly means it-- and it's not as if he can say anything but what he means right now.]
I'll just bug Kakyion until he explains it, he's used to that shit with me.
Edited 2016-05-01 08:49 (UTC)
No, no. Look, it's stupid to get information secondhand if a firsthand source is available. And besides.
[This time, when he looks back and up and Polnareff, it's with a small but wry smile.]
Kakyoin's not exactly an expert. Yet. [Whoops. Damn truth shit.] He's hung up, Jotaro's hung up, you're hung up. But if it makes you feel any better, you were a little hung up when I first met you. Future-you.
[He reaches up and pets Polnareff's hair a little, on top and then the fuzzy parts on the side.]
Besides, I'm a good teacher. Right?
[This time, when he looks back and up and Polnareff, it's with a small but wry smile.]
Kakyoin's not exactly an expert. Yet. [Whoops. Damn truth shit.] He's hung up, Jotaro's hung up, you're hung up. But if it makes you feel any better, you were a little hung up when I first met you. Future-you.
[He reaches up and pets Polnareff's hair a little, on top and then the fuzzy parts on the side.]
Besides, I'm a good teacher. Right?
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