digiorno | ic inbox ( ruby city ) Ⅰ

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ic inbox ( ruby city ) Ⅰ

buongiorno! sorry i missed you; i'll happily get back to you as soon as i'm done with whatever business i'm on. leave a message!

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No. Not yet. It's just nice. It feels nice. You're nice to me.

OK.

If you want to cry on me you can.

Or if that's weird you can cry on Star while I give you space or something.

I don't need space. I'm just really happy. Because there never was anybody to fight for me before, and now it seems like there are so many people who would do it without thinking twice about it. Even people who have lots of reasons to hate me, they still love me anyway.

If there's one bad thing it's that I might have forgotten a little bit how to be hated, so that if someone does I won't be as good at it as I used to be.

Because when someone hates you, you have to beat them. Right? You have to win, that's how you solve the problem of being hated.

That's right. It's more complicated, when I don't just want to win all the time. I just want . . .

I don't know. I like it when people see me how you see me. I don't want everyone to see me like that, but some people, it's nice. And I don't want you to have to fight anyone for me, either. But it hurts more to think of someone hating me than it used to, too, at least when it's a situation like this. If it was just business, I wouldn't care. But it's not.

The more you gain, the more you have to lose. Making things better for yourself means allowing more things that can hurt you, and having to trust that they won't.

Like that, right?

That's right. I never would've done it before, but now it would feel a little strange not doing it. And it's not the end of the world if they hate me or anything, it would just hurt.

...Have you ever seen a martial artist break a piece of concrete with their bare hand? Not like we do, not with a Stand or anything. Just...a normal person, with training, is what I mean.

There's a point to this, I promise.

Maybe in a movie once? I don't know. I know what you're talking about, though.

There's a way to train, to do that. You hit something that's soft, like sand, over and over again. And you do it...thousands of times, millions, over a long period of time. And what it does is, it fractures the bones over and over again. Never breaking them, never incapacitating them. But little fractures, that the body recognizes that it needs to repair, so it fixes them. And by fixing them, it builds them up stronger from the reinforcement.

Someone like my mom...things hurt her, all the time. But I think maybe that's what makes her so strong, is that she's built up...hurt after hurt, like striking sand. Little ones. Never so bad that it can't be repaired. But over and over again. So when something comes up, like concrete...

But I think your things, you didn't get years and years of little ones. You and I don't break the concrete with technique, we break it by throwing ourselves at it and hitting it so hard it has to shatter. So we're used to the fractures always being major, and breaking our hand with it, and leaving us with a bunch of healing to do afterwards.

So I think the way you're feeling, it's like cringing at the sight of the concrete block. Because it always hurts when we do it. So it feels stupid to step up and try, because the only way we've ever known to do it is the way that breaks our hand in the process.

Oh.

Is that what it is? So I just . . . have to learn a different way? Like learning to walk and talk all over again . . . that's what I have to do? And you, too?

Sort of. I think...we have to learn to hit the sand like sand, and not like concrete.

And to recognize when it's sand, and when it's concrete.

And to be brave enough to keep doing it even when we get hurt. Because it's not an "if", it's a "when".

I'm not saying I'm any good at it, just that I think that's what it is.

That's complicated.

I'm glad I have you to look out for me while I'm figuring out how to do it, or I'd break my hand a lot. And this isn't the kind of thing I can fix.

They've never really been little ones for us, have they.

But I think we can figure it out. I really do.

I think we can too. So maybe that's a good reason for me to be the one to do it. Since - it's not little, but it's not as big as I'm used to, either. Good practice?

Okay.

Do you want me to be there with you?

Maybe. Hard things are easier when you're there.

Mio fratello è molto forte.

Quando lo sostengo, lui è ancora più forte.

Le braccia mi sostengono come un cerchio. Ho ragione?

Giusto.

Ricordo a me stesso di che spesso.

Quando avete bisogno di qualcuno che si prenda cura di?

E quando ho bisogno di ricordare che qualcuno si prenda cura di me.

Un cerchio non ha inizio né fine.

Questo mi rende felice. Mi fai felice. Mi piace che la nostra forza non finisce.

I like not having to be strong all by myself, even though I can be. It feels safe.

Good.

I'm glad you feel safe here, Giorno.

I'm glad, too. And I want you to feel safe too, so if you don't you have to tell me, okay? That's what brothers do.

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starmark - 2016-02-05 03:29 (UTC) - Expand

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