ic inbox ( ruby city ) Ⅰ

[digiorno]

buongiorno! sorry i missed you; i'll happily get back to you as soon as i'm done with whatever business i'm on. leave a message!

( text | voice | video )

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Comments

[digiorno]

[Oh, well. Sure, why not.]

Yes, human?

[punchboth]

[Will you ever stop bullshitting??]

Can you cook? I'm already starving for some real Italian food.

[digiorno]

[hm........ nah]

What do you know about real Italian food? I thought you were Japanese.

[Okay, but Giorno . . . Giorno.]

[punchboth]

[Giorno would you please fucking deliver.]

This Italian guy opened a restaurant in Morioh and cooks really awesome food with his Stand. Even without the Stand part, Italian food is still pretty great... So?

[digiorno]

Really? A food Stand? That's so . . . practical.

[LONG, PONDEROUS PAUSE no but okay]

I can cook a few dishes, and I'd be happy to do that for you, but when you get bored of those, I have someone else I can send you off to.

[punchboth]

It's delicious. You don't even know.

[Everyone should meet Tonio once in their lives, Okuyasu thinks. He's a culinary hero.]

I'll eat anything from anybody at this point-- I'm too hungry to be picky.

[digiorno]

[Tonio: the true protagonist of Diamond. Giorno clicks his tongue. Poor starving Okuyasu.]

Well, do you have a favorite? I can at least get close.

[punchboth]

[Tonio saves lives...]

Anything that's not too spicy. I mean it, dude, I could eat a whole one of those big cheese wheels in one sitting if I had one.

[digiorno]

That's terrifying. Don't do that. Do you know where the coffee shop is?

[punchboth]

I'm getting real close to having no choice.

[But also, he knows where all the places to get food are. Mostly. The good ones.] You want I should meet you?

[digiorno]

Please. There's a kitchen in the back. You can come down now if you don't mind hanging around while I cook, or in an hour or so if you're only in this to eat.

[punchboth]

Too late, already on my way!

[And he sure is. Give him a couple minutes before he pops his head into the kitchen, looking around for Real Aliens.] Yo?

[digiorno]

Yo.

[Very solemn, and from the direction of the stove. It means come in, obviously. Giorno is messing around with some raw chicken at the moment, decked out in a blue apron with ladybugs on it, because of course he is.]

[punchboth]

[There he is. Okuyasu shuffles over with his hands in his pockets, keeping his distance from the actual food and stovetop because he's been schooled thoroughly on how to behave in someone else's kitchen by this point...

But. Giorno. Really.] Nice apron.

[digiorno]

Thank you.

[Such dignity. He jerks his head over toward the sink.]

Wash your hands.

[punchboth]

Oh-- right. [Woop there he goes, obediently. Over his shoulder:]

Sooo what's on the menu today, chef?

[digiorno]

[Okuyasu is so pure. He gets an approving smile.]

I did tell you I'm not a chef. It's penne and chicken and asparagus in cream sauce. Nothing fancy.

[punchboth]

You're a chef right now. Humor me, man.

[He shakes his hands mostly free of water before nabbing a hand towel and resuming his previous watching spot.]

For real, I couldn't make a scream sauce if you punched me in the face with the recipe.

[digiorno]

Cream sauce.

[He's smiling a little, though.]

If I punched you in the face with the recipe you'd just be unconscious.

[punchboth]

[Waving his towel with an exaggerated frown, look, he is not the brains here.]

You get my point, dude. I can cook instant shit and boil some stuff and that's it.

[digiorno]

No, I do get your point.

[He pauses for a moment, digs around in a drawer to find the right size knife.]

I taught myself. I burned a lot of food in the process.

[punchboth]

You got time for that? Lucky.

[Time and also Italy, where everything is certifiably delicious. He's kind of jealous.]

[digiorno]

I'm good at time management, that's all.

. . . Oh. There are snacks in the cabinet if you want? Since you're starving.

[punchboth]

That makes one of us... [he says, as he already starts to gravitate toward the cabinet. But then he pauses, looking at it very seriously.]

I can't do it. Not with chicken at stake.

[digiorno]

[Okuyasu . . .]

You could just have a small snack. It won't ruin your appetite.