[There were always these moments, scattered moments, when Giorno looked exactly his age. They were rare, but they happened, and they always caught him as much by surprise as they did anyone else. Jotaro was becoming an expert at pulling them out, wonder and curiosity with no element of calculation in it, making him Giorno instead of Don Giovanna.]
[But sometimes, more rarely, he faced moments when he wasn't either. When he wasn't Don Giovanna, or Giorno, who came before, or Haruno who came before that, even, but a child so young he didn't know his own name, only that he existed and wanted to reach out for - something, anything.]
[That was the look he wore now, curious as a child discovering its own toes for the first time, because this, this time, this made sense. Finally, finally it was being said in a way that he understood - and of course it was coming from Kakyoin, of course it was, because who else talked to him like this, who else engaged in the same polite double-speak and aggressive honesty, who else could it have possibly been?]
[For once, there was no denying that the similarities were there. They were. It was a fact, finally acknowledged. But similar qualities differently expressed were inherently different. That made sense.]
Distorted . . . like light through a flawed gem.
[But he . . . possessed clarity. Didn't he? Clarity and drive, and somewhere down the line a host of chaotic criminals taught him what it meant to care and be loyal, and now he could focus the light that shone through him into a thousand points of perfect illumination. Kill the shadows where they stand.]
[He touched his lips in wonder, feeling the shape of them as he mouthed the word again, distorted. Ah. Clarity.]
Gold Experience can do so many things that frighten me. It brought Bruno back, when I was trying to heal him, but he was already gone. That's what I forgot, what we met there: the memory of me trying to bring him back. To leave, we had to let him go.
And there was a part of me there that refused to let him go. It got so angry, so violent, I was worried it was going to hurt one of us. It said things . . . but the drive to control life is only fear, isn't it? If I turn my back on my own fear, it will grow. Fear . . .
[His hand dropped to the table, fingers trembling.]
I was wrong before, I think. Selfishness, ignorance, greed, and fear - those are the things that ruin us. Fear makes people do crazy things. Bruno . . . he wasn't afraid.
[So why be afraid now? He looked up at Kakyoin, just watched him for a moment, trying - trying to decide.]
no subject
[Oh.]
[There were always these moments, scattered moments, when Giorno looked exactly his age. They were rare, but they happened, and they always caught him as much by surprise as they did anyone else. Jotaro was becoming an expert at pulling them out, wonder and curiosity with no element of calculation in it, making him Giorno instead of Don Giovanna.]
[But sometimes, more rarely, he faced moments when he wasn't either. When he wasn't Don Giovanna, or Giorno, who came before, or Haruno who came before that, even, but a child so young he didn't know his own name, only that he existed and wanted to reach out for - something, anything.]
[That was the look he wore now, curious as a child discovering its own toes for the first time, because this, this time, this made sense. Finally, finally it was being said in a way that he understood - and of course it was coming from Kakyoin, of course it was, because who else talked to him like this, who else engaged in the same polite double-speak and aggressive honesty, who else could it have possibly been?]
[For once, there was no denying that the similarities were there. They were. It was a fact, finally acknowledged. But similar qualities differently expressed were inherently different. That made sense.]
Distorted . . . like light through a flawed gem.
[But he . . . possessed clarity. Didn't he? Clarity and drive, and somewhere down the line a host of chaotic criminals taught him what it meant to care and be loyal, and now he could focus the light that shone through him into a thousand points of perfect illumination. Kill the shadows where they stand.]
[He touched his lips in wonder, feeling the shape of them as he mouthed the word again, distorted. Ah. Clarity.]
Gold Experience can do so many things that frighten me. It brought Bruno back, when I was trying to heal him, but he was already gone. That's what I forgot, what we met there: the memory of me trying to bring him back. To leave, we had to let him go.
And there was a part of me there that refused to let him go. It got so angry, so violent, I was worried it was going to hurt one of us. It said things . . . but the drive to control life is only fear, isn't it? If I turn my back on my own fear, it will grow. Fear . . .
[His hand dropped to the table, fingers trembling.]
I was wrong before, I think. Selfishness, ignorance, greed, and fear - those are the things that ruin us. Fear makes people do crazy things. Bruno . . . he wasn't afraid.
[So why be afraid now? He looked up at Kakyoin, just watched him for a moment, trying - trying to decide.]