[He sighs, frustrated. In this gentle volleyball of emotional resonances transferring, there's a tinge of that carried across, along with his own impatience at himself for how difficult it's been to understand these things. Give him a book about combat strategy and he'll be able to give you a detailed analysis of the points within in an hour. But friendship? Emotions? Bonds? Six months and he feels like he's barely made any progress from where he began.]
we weren't to have them, in root
[It's the first he's mentioned it to Giorno. Not out of any sense of embarrassment or a desire to hide his past--it simply...never came up.]
"you have no name, you have no feelings, you have no past, you have no future. there is only the mission"
...it was less complicated
[On some unquantifiable level, Sai realizes that he's changed, that now that the door has been opened, it cannot be closed again. They're getting off the point, though, possibly because he's struggling enough with the concept that his confusion and frustration is taking center stage, in the magitek's dictation.]
i am not sure i follow do you mean...that he would die?
[The concept of "losing" someone isn't one he really has. Even when his "brother" died, Sai didn't have the emotional tools to process his reaction as grief. To protect itself, his mind had instead repressed most of his memories with the other boy, right down to what he intended to draw for him in that picture book...
He thinks on it. Thinks on what Sakura had said, back then, about Naruto seeing Sasuke as his own brother.
...]
i do not know
[He thinks he has a general idea of what fear is. He was able to recognize it when he displayed the physical signs, after looking into Sasuke's sharingan. But that was different than what he felt when he went to see Naruto.
He thinks harder. Naruto was upset when he failed to retrieve Sasuke.
(If you have a brother, can't you imagine what it's like when he's not there?)
he can't remember
{idly, he thinks, the water has been running for awhile. naruto will start to wonder, soon.
he remembers his brother's death he can picture it in
d e t a i l
but what did he feel? did he feel anything at all?
no subject
we weren't to have them, in root
[It's the first he's mentioned it to Giorno. Not out of any sense of embarrassment or a desire to hide his past--it simply...never came up.]
"you have no name, you have no feelings, you have no past, you have no future. there is only the mission"
...it was less complicated
[On some unquantifiable level, Sai realizes that he's changed, that now that the door has been opened, it cannot be closed again. They're getting off the point, though, possibly because he's struggling enough with the concept that his confusion and frustration is taking center stage, in the magitek's dictation.]
i am not sure i follow
do you mean...that he would die?
[The concept of "losing" someone isn't one he really has. Even when his "brother" died, Sai didn't have the emotional tools to process his reaction as grief. To protect itself, his mind had instead repressed most of his memories with the other boy, right down to what he intended to draw for him in that picture book...
He thinks on it. Thinks on what Sakura had said, back then, about Naruto seeing Sasuke as his own brother.
...]
i do not
know
[He thinks he has a general idea of what fear is. He was able to recognize it when he displayed the physical signs, after looking into Sasuke's sharingan. But that was different than what he felt when he went to see Naruto.
He thinks harder. Naruto was upset when he failed to retrieve Sasuke.
(If you have a brother, can't you imagine what it's like when he's not there?)
he can't
remember
{idly, he thinks, the water has been running for awhile. naruto will start to wonder, soon.
he remembers his brother's death
he can picture it
in
d e t a i l
but what did he feel?
did he feel anything at all?
he can't remember.]
i do not know how to answer that