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You're not.
[It comes quick and sure. Giorno's clearly not bullshitting Wylan, even if he were the type to. This is just--]
[It feels so close to his heart. Once, he would have agreed with what Wylan is saying. Yes, it's selfish and weak to need someone close by. But he's not who he once was. People change. Even Wylan, who doesn't believe he can or should be loved, has changed. Will change. Is changing even in this moment.]
It isn't selfish to need the one you love. Whoever put that lie in your head, don't listen to them. It's normal, it's right to need like that. It's strength, not weakness.
Tell me what you were going to say. "How would you know if he . . ."?
[Giorno thinks he knows. But he wants to hear it, to make sure.]
[It comes quick and sure. Giorno's clearly not bullshitting Wylan, even if he were the type to. This is just--]
[It feels so close to his heart. Once, he would have agreed with what Wylan is saying. Yes, it's selfish and weak to need someone close by. But he's not who he once was. People change. Even Wylan, who doesn't believe he can or should be loved, has changed. Will change. Is changing even in this moment.]
It isn't selfish to need the one you love. Whoever put that lie in your head, don't listen to them. It's normal, it's right to need like that. It's strength, not weakness.
Tell me what you were going to say. "How would you know if he . . ."?
[Giorno thinks he knows. But he wants to hear it, to make sure.]
Edited 2018-02-24 03:51 (UTC)
[Giorno can probably hear Wylan's wince at the direct question, interrupting the silence that had fallen as Wylan digested his teammate's words. He blurts out the answer in a rush, knowing that if he hesitates he'll never be able to say the words, admit his own uncertainty.]
How would I know if he loved me.
How would I know if he loved me.
[He nods. That's what he thought. It's the sort of question Fugo would ask, which . . . is heartbreaking. But expected.]
[Squeezing Wylan's hand, he hums thoughtfully.]
It's different with everyone, I think. Which makes it difficult. And Jesper loves everyone a little bit, which makes it difficult as well. You just have to learn him. And trust him. And--
Show him. Tell him. I think if you tell him how you feel, whatever he says, you'll know. Even if he says something silly and flirty, you know, I think with Jesper you'll understand. Jesper needs to be loved, too. He's as desperate for it as anyone. If he's chosen you, he knows you can love him the way he needs.
[Squeezing Wylan's hand, he hums thoughtfully.]
It's different with everyone, I think. Which makes it difficult. And Jesper loves everyone a little bit, which makes it difficult as well. You just have to learn him. And trust him. And--
Show him. Tell him. I think if you tell him how you feel, whatever he says, you'll know. Even if he says something silly and flirty, you know, I think with Jesper you'll understand. Jesper needs to be loved, too. He's as desperate for it as anyone. If he's chosen you, he knows you can love him the way he needs.
[Wylan's grateful for the contact, squeezing Giorno's hand back. It give him something else to focus on beyond his own insecurities. Giorno's words are a lot, almost too much to consider, so he latches onto what are arguably the least important ones.]
Jesper flirts with everyone. The first time he tried to kiss me he didn't even kiss the right person. He kissed Kuwei. [He sounds equal parts annoyed and incredibly fond. It's hard for Wylan not to sound fond when he's talking about Jesper.]
Jesper flirts with everyone. The first time he tried to kiss me he didn't even kiss the right person. He kissed Kuwei. [He sounds equal parts annoyed and incredibly fond. It's hard for Wylan not to sound fond when he's talking about Jesper.]
[Okay, he can't help but laugh a little at that. Stupid Jesper.]
That does sound like him. Listen, Wylan, I flirt with everyone, but it's different when I actually mean it. When I actually, really care about someone, it's--I take more risks. It's more honest. Do you--
[This is a bit more of himself than he was expecting to share in this conversation. But no point stopping now. He chews his lip for a moment, then continues.]
Does that make sense? Does that sound like something you might--notice. That difference, if it was Jesper.
That does sound like him. Listen, Wylan, I flirt with everyone, but it's different when I actually mean it. When I actually, really care about someone, it's--I take more risks. It's more honest. Do you--
[This is a bit more of himself than he was expecting to share in this conversation. But no point stopping now. He chews his lip for a moment, then continues.]
Does that make sense? Does that sound like something you might--notice. That difference, if it was Jesper.
[Wylan nods after a moment, acknowledging that Giorno's right. It's not that Wylan hasn't noticed that things are different with him and Jesper, things are more, but he's unsure why things are so different, how long they'll stay that way.]
It's different. I know it's different. But what happens if it doesn't stay that way? What happens when Jesper realizes that I'm not worth it?
It's different. I know it's different. But what happens if it doesn't stay that way? What happens when Jesper realizes that I'm not worth it?
If you absolutely must use the phrase "worth it", which I wouldn't since it's so subjective . . .
[He thinks, but not for longer than a second or two.]
"What happens if Jesper begins to feel I'm not worth it"? That's a step. [A potentiality, not a certainty, and a feeling, not an objective truth.]
[He thinks, but not for longer than a second or two.]
"What happens if Jesper begins to feel I'm not worth it"? That's a step. [A potentiality, not a certainty, and a feeling, not an objective truth.]
You talk to him.
[Giorno shrugs, acknowledging it's a million miles harder than it sounds. He's earned himself a silver tongue, but with this kind of thing it's useless; he stumbles as much as anyone.]
You ask if he really does feel that way, and if so, why. You find out if there's anything to be done to get close to him again. If there isn't, you heal and move on. I wish there was a kinder answer, but--
[With a pang, he thinks of Mista and his romantic comedies, the fervor in his eyes at each and every happy ending.]
Things don't always work out perfectly, and you're only half of the equation.
[Giorno shrugs, acknowledging it's a million miles harder than it sounds. He's earned himself a silver tongue, but with this kind of thing it's useless; he stumbles as much as anyone.]
You ask if he really does feel that way, and if so, why. You find out if there's anything to be done to get close to him again. If there isn't, you heal and move on. I wish there was a kinder answer, but--
[With a pang, he thinks of Mista and his romantic comedies, the fervor in his eyes at each and every happy ending.]
Things don't always work out perfectly, and you're only half of the equation.
I want things to work out perfectly. [The words fly out of his mouth before he can think of just how naive and stupid they sound. Wylan's fully aware that it's nearly impossible for things to be perfect, his own life so far has certainly not been, but he still wishes that for him and Jesper, holds on to an image of a perfect life together, perfect and ridiculous and unrealistic.]
. . . Oh, Wylan.
[He can't help the fondness that's crept into his voice. He could help the hand that grips Wylan's shoulder tightly, that pulls him close and holds him a touch awkwardly against his side. But he doesn't try to.]
I know. Trust me, believe me, I do very much understand. I want it for you--I want it for myself, but--
[But Wylan deserves it more, he knows, and so there's no question who he's most hopeful for.]
I want it to be a story for you. A fairytale--something that never doesn't seem a little magical. I think it will be. Don't ever believe that I doubt that. If anyone deserves it, it's you.
[He can't help the fondness that's crept into his voice. He could help the hand that grips Wylan's shoulder tightly, that pulls him close and holds him a touch awkwardly against his side. But he doesn't try to.]
I know. Trust me, believe me, I do very much understand. I want it for you--I want it for myself, but--
[But Wylan deserves it more, he knows, and so there's no question who he's most hopeful for.]
I want it to be a story for you. A fairytale--something that never doesn't seem a little magical. I think it will be. Don't ever believe that I doubt that. If anyone deserves it, it's you.
[And Wylan could stop himself, but it's all too easy to lean against Giorno's side, accepting the comfort he's offering. He's grateful that Giorno doesn't call him on his dream, doesn't tell him it's naive or stupid. It nearly brings him to tears, and he wipes at his eyes with one sleeve.]
It already feels like a fairytale. [He freezes again. He just can't seem to stop saying stupidly naive things today.] I know that sounds ridiculous, but sometimes I can hardly believe it's real...
It already feels like a fairytale. [He freezes again. He just can't seem to stop saying stupidly naive things today.] I know that sounds ridiculous, but sometimes I can hardly believe it's real...
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