ic inbox ( ruby city ) Ⅲ

[digiorno]

buongiorno! sorry i missed you; i'll happily get back to you as soon as i'm done with whatever business i'm on. leave a message!

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Comments

[doreimi]

I...think so. But I can double-check the next time I go to the music store, definitely.

So what've you been up to lately? Thanks again for the help with the party, by the way, I think everybody had a ton of fun with it!

[digiorno]

did you know reimi that you throw a perfect party

i took a survey and it's true

anyway: i don't know? a lot. but also not much. the last few months have been strange honestly. i don't think i've been quite in the entrepreneurial spirit.

[doreimi]

Haha, well, I had a lot of help from a lot of perfect people!

Strange how? If it's okay to ask, I mean.

[digiorno]

it is, i'm just not really sure how to say it

i think i'm happier but also less happy, and more homesick but also less homesick? sometimes i'm worried about everything and sometimes i'm worried about nothing. sometimes i don't know what i'm feeling at all. it's annoying.

[doreimi]

...Dr. Sugimoto's professional diagnosis is, that sounds like either love or indigestion.

Any chance it's one of the two?

[digiorno]

no one's going to take you seriously as a doctor if you doubt your own diagnosis.

maybe.

[doreimi]

If people are taking me seriously as a doctor, they have bigger problems than the ones I'm diagnosing.

You're happier but less happy because you're noticing your emotions more often in general, and indulging the way that they swing more than just holding steady at a baseline in the middle ground. You're more homesick because home is something else that's important to you, so being around one important thing you do have reminds you of other important things you don't have — but you're less homesick because being with that one important thing feels like being at home.

You worry about everything because you've got something to worry about now, period, because you're invested in that someone in a way that you haven't been before. But when they're around it feels like you don't have to worry about anything, because you can do anything together and they make you happy, and there's no room for worry to get in around that.

And you don't know what you feel at all because at the root of all of these things is the fact that there's something new that's making you feel a lot, period.

Sounds like love to me.

[digiorno]

what

all of that is love?

[doreimi]

Sure. I had a crush on a guy once and it was like I was miserable all the time but I didn't really want it to stop either.

Why do you think magazines spend so much time on articles trying to help people figure out their love questions? Being in love is hard and contradictory and even kind of stupid, really.

[digiorno]

oh. how annoying. i always thought it was just marketing really. emotions are incredibly stupid.

[doreimi]

I guess. But you kind of have to ask yourself, would it really be better to not have any at all?

[digiorno]

no, of course not. i just mean that they're a lot easier to understand from the outside.

[doreimi]

Oh. Well, yeah, that's definitely true, you're right about that.

I guess that's what friends are for, to be a mirror like that.

[digiorno]

yes. a mirror. i try to be that, too.

but it's normal, though? feeling all of those things at once.

[doreimi]

Yeah. But...

Maybe it'll make more sense if you don't think of it as a bunch of conflicting feelings all bursting out of nowhere at once. Try thinking about it like you've really only changed one thing, like putting on a pair of glasses, but now everything you're used to is a little different because it's all being filtered through that thing.

Or like an equation that used to be balanced, except that now every time you calculate something with it, you have to add on a "+1" at the end, and that's why the answer keeps coming out a little bit different than it used to.

[digiorno]

that makes sense. i think. i can try to think of it like that, anyway.

you're really wise. and not nearly as nosy as i expected. i don't know, i'm just really lucky to have you.

[doreimi]

Not nearly as nosy as you EXPECTED?

How nosy did you expect me to be??

[digiorno]

well!! i am VERY nosy so i expected you to be nearly very nosy

[doreimi]

Because we're that much alike, huh? I take that as a compliment, Giorno!

[digiorno]

we are very much alike reimi

we are both very strong people who never give up and always try their best

and we can both be very scary sometimes

so i think if anyone was going to be nosy i'd mind it least if it was you, because you seem like all the best parts of me, really

[doreimi]

...I've never thought of myself as being the best of anything, much less of anyone.

Much less of anyone as great as you.

...

I'm glad that's what you see in me.