I've been thinking about it too much. Over and over in circles in my head--just because I'm better at pretending I'm okay doesn't mean I am okay.
[That hurts to say; he bites his lip and squeezes his eyes shut for a second, trying to keep it together.]
I'm not. Usually . . . the more okay I seem, the less okay I am. And I'm really scared, still. But I trust you. I'd trust you with anything. Everything. So it's okay, even if we're both messes.
[He looks at Fugo. Then he looks at his hand, outstretched, and bites his lip again, deep in thought. Compared to everything Fugo just did, this isn't really a risk at all, is it?]
[Carefully, he pulls his other hand out of Fugo's and readjusts, sits back against the pillows, pats his lap. A little shy. Mostly hopeful.]
no subject
I've been thinking about it too much. Over and over in circles in my head--just because I'm better at pretending I'm okay doesn't mean I am okay.
[That hurts to say; he bites his lip and squeezes his eyes shut for a second, trying to keep it together.]
I'm not. Usually . . . the more okay I seem, the less okay I am. And I'm really scared, still. But I trust you. I'd trust you with anything. Everything. So it's okay, even if we're both messes.
[He looks at Fugo. Then he looks at his hand, outstretched, and bites his lip again, deep in thought. Compared to everything Fugo just did, this isn't really a risk at all, is it?]
[Carefully, he pulls his other hand out of Fugo's and readjusts, sits back against the pillows, pats his lap. A little shy. Mostly hopeful.]
You're too far away.