[Oh, oh no, he thinks, oh no, I messed up, oh no, he saw me, that's what he thinks as Polnareff pulls him into a crushing hug. He can't breathe and it dizzies him for a moment before he understands, remembers every touch he's ever had these last few months and how much each one means. How touch is good and safe and okay, and Polnareff will never hurt him, because he is not his father.]
[It makes him want to cry. He doesn't, though, because he thinks that if he starts so will Polnareff, and then neither of them will ever stop. So he bites his lip hard until it hurts and presses his face to Polnareff's shoulder and listens, he listens, he has to always listen, always always always — for Polnareff, his consigliere, who gave up everything for him, or will.]
[He shudders, one deep breath in and one out, and shakes his head. Not a no, but a modification.]
You're not stupid. You're perfect. I missed you so much, and — even if you don't remember, that's not what I missed about you, not the memories. I missed you.
[Fuck, don't, don't cry — he makes a quiet sound of grief and bites it back and wraps his arms around Polnareff's neck.]
I missed you because I love you and you make me feel safe. I like you how you are, however that is. Don't say should, when you're everything you should be.
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[Oh, oh no, he thinks, oh no, I messed up, oh no, he saw me, that's what he thinks as Polnareff pulls him into a crushing hug. He can't breathe and it dizzies him for a moment before he understands, remembers every touch he's ever had these last few months and how much each one means. How touch is good and safe and okay, and Polnareff will never hurt him, because he is not his father.]
[It makes him want to cry. He doesn't, though, because he thinks that if he starts so will Polnareff, and then neither of them will ever stop. So he bites his lip hard until it hurts and presses his face to Polnareff's shoulder and listens, he listens, he has to always listen, always always always — for Polnareff, his consigliere, who gave up everything for him, or will.]
[He shudders, one deep breath in and one out, and shakes his head. Not a no, but a modification.]
You're not stupid. You're perfect. I missed you so much, and — even if you don't remember, that's not what I missed about you, not the memories. I missed you.
[Fuck, don't, don't cry — he makes a quiet sound of grief and bites it back and wraps his arms around Polnareff's neck.]
I missed you because I love you and you make me feel safe. I like you how you are, however that is. Don't say should, when you're everything you should be.