ic inbox ( ruby city ) Ⅰ

[digiorno]

buongiorno! sorry i missed you; i'll happily get back to you as soon as i'm done with whatever business i'm on. leave a message!

( text | voice | video )

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[digiorno]

[Oh. That's. Completely fine and in no way a problem.]

[Yeah.]

[His stomach hurts and he wants to go to bed. But he's also apparently a masochist. Because, after a brief pause, he does something really stupid.]

I'd like it if you called me Giorno. Please do that.

Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but . . . Have you ever known someone like that? Someone you try hard for, and they hurt you badly?

[He doesn't believe in God like Mista does, but he finds himself praying anyway. Please tell me. Something, anything, the tiniest thing, please.]

[beatofmyblood]

[It takes him a while to respond - partly because he's working through the fog of exhaustion, and partly because that is a very specific question and it's made him wary - but he won't keep you waiting long.]

Yes.

[That's all he sends for a few minutes, because God knows he doesn't want Dio lording over any more innocent lives. They're children. Giorno reacted somewhat strangely to that name before, but if he's not specific about it...]

Most of my life, actually. In the end, some small part of me was still aching to believe he could change, but I had no choice.

[digiorno]

[That was, in fact, a very stupid thing to do, he reflects. His stomach still hurts, but now his chest also hurts and his hands are shaking a little bit. Why did he do that? Why the hell did he do that? Why doesn't he regret doing it?]

[Most of my life, actually. What would that be like, to have him standing over you literally, pulling you down every single day?]

I'm sorry.

[I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. What if he could just - absorb all of this pain into his body, take it away from Jotaro and Kakyoin and Jonathan and hold it in the birdcage of his ribs and let it scratch impotently trying to get out, forever?]

You didn't deserve that.

[beatofmyblood]

[It felt like what he knew.

Some days he still can't get himself out of the mindset that anything and everything that goes wrong is his fault, that he's perpetually inferior, that if there isn't a purpose and a cause for it, suffering isn't something he intrinsically deserves. Moving past what Dio taught him in childhood is always a struggle, but it's one he won't let define him. Even if their fates were two red strings knotted together, tangled, fraying at the ends and struggling to separate, he'd only suffer when it meant he could protect the people he loves.]

It isn't your fault.

[He has no way to know how Giorno is reacting past that screen, but something runs through him that he can't quite place - call it instinct, call it paternity, call it knowing what it's like to have family by his side again, even if Giorno is what's fraying at the ends of it.]

I had plenty of things in my life that I was grateful for, so you shouldn't worry. Focus on your own happiness, and I'll be behind you one hundred percent.

[digiorno]

[People keep telling him that . . .]

[People keep telling him that, and sometimes it makes him sad and sometimes it infuriates him, but this - he doesn't know. It still doesn't feel good, and he still doesn't really believe it, especially since Jonathan doesn't know. But he doesn't think Jonathan knows how to lie, and that makes a pretty big difference.]

I worry about everyone. It's my job.

[It would be nice to tell the lie that he didn't mean to say that. That he isn't dropping hints and sabotaging things on purpose. But, at least to himself, he'll be honest. This time.]

[beatofmyblood]

[It's a very, very good thing that Giorno doesn't know about his younger years. If this was a face-to-face conversation, he'd be the one opening his mouth to object, only to realize that shit, in a way, he does that too.

Here, he'll tackle that in a different way.

God, he's so young.]

If you are able, try to put off worrying long enough to get some rest. I've kept you up long enough, and after today, we both deserve that if nothing else. Can you promise me that?

[digiorno]

[People don't ask him to make promises. Not promises like this one, to take care of himself. It seems like something family would say, but Jonathan is too good to be his family, so - a friend, maybe.]

[Maybe he can turn off his mind long enough to sleep, and that can be good enough.]

I promise.

[beatofmyblood]

Good.

[And it is good, even if he can't possibly know what kind of emotional storm has been brewing inside of the don. For now, it just means that a young man will be able to close his eyes tonight, and that's all he can ask.

...]

Sleep well, Giorno.

[digiorno]

Good night, Jonathan. Sleep well.