ic inbox ( ruby city ) Ⅰ

[digiorno]

buongiorno! sorry i missed you; i'll happily get back to you as soon as i'm done with whatever business i'm on. leave a message!

( text | voice | video )

⇦ ● ⇨

Comments

[digiorno]

[HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH]

[giorno sends nine texts in rapid succession. all of them simply contain (ಠ ∩ಠ)]

[then:]

What was your question?

[lapidarius]

[...giorno. honey.]

If you're finished with that, I'd like to ask for your opinion on flowers. You're good with floriography, right?

[digiorno]

Obviously I'm finished.

[obviously]

Of course I am. What are you looking for?

[lapidarius]

I don't think there's a flower for 'you're stupid and I'm stupid but we put up with each other anyway,' so the obvious option is out.

Is there a flower for reassurance or support, something like that?

[digiorno]

There's not a flower for that but nuts are symbolic of stupidity.

Lady's seal is for support. It's white, sort of star-shaped, with six petals. Hellebore, that's Christmas rose, is white, five petals, and it's for relief from anxiety. Scarlet zinnias are for constancy, they're red and look like little explosions. Petunias mean a soothing presence and they come in all sorts of colors.

[lapidarius]

Wow. You really are as good at this as I'd expected.

[damn, son]

[digiorno]

One of us has to be.

[lapidarius]

How incredibly hurtful of you.

Do you think he'd like those?

[digiorno]

Are you asking me if your boyfriend would like a present?

[lapidarius]

I just want to know if this is a stupid idea or not!

[digiorno]

Why do you think I know that?

[lapidarius]

You're brilliant and you're better with people than I am.

[digiorno]

But I don't understand this tradition. And it's not like I have some vast wealth of experience to draw on.

[lapidarius]

Let me ask it this way, then.

If I walk up to Jojo and hand him a bouquet of flowers, do you suspect he'll think I recently suffered severe head trauma?

[digiorno]

Probably.

I think he'd think it was considerate. He'd like it because it was from you. But it's not really a language he speaks, is it.

[lapidarius]

No, the subtle route has always been more my thing than his. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking so hard about it.

[digiorno]

I don't mean subtlety specifically, I mean . . .

If someone got me flowers, I'd like it because it would mean they know what I like. If I got someone flowers, they would like it because they would know it had meaning to me. But it doesn't have any particular meaning to either of you, as far as I know.

That's part of why I'm frustrated by this whole thing, because gifts for the people you love are supposed to be meaningful and personal, not calculated in monetary value or

I don't know.

[lapidarius]

[...Huh.]

I think that I get it. Phrased like that, the holiday does almost seem a little impersonal. I've never done this before, so I never thought to question the reasoning behind it.

Truthfully, I'm at a loss for what to do. Putting a measurement on it is complicating the whole thing.

[digiorno]

Then fuck it. Fuck all of it. Fuck what you're supposed to do or what the rules are, just fuck it, get him a thousand little things or one big thing or don't get him anything, just take him somewhere he likes to go. Let him talk to you about whales and ask him questions and then draw what he's talking about. It doesn't matter, just don't follow the rules because they don't matter.

[lapidarius]

That's probably the best advice I've heard in recent memory.

[digiorno]

Like you said. I'm brilliant.

[lapidarius]

Unbelievably so. I don't know how we ever got by without you.

[digiorno]

It really bothers me, you know. Why people spend so much time worrying about following the rules when all that ever seems to do is hurt. The only rule that should matter is "protect the weak". And sometimes, when you're the weak one, "be selfish" too.

[lapidarius]

I think those are good rules to follow. I should take your advice much more often on that.

Personally, I prefer to choose to follow or break whatever rules I think are necessary in a given situation. I like to be courteous and polite, but if we need to steal a car or kill someone I guess that's just how the day's going to go.

So I think I can improvise when it comes to a matter such as this.

[digiorno]

I'm a little tired of being courteous and polite lately.