digiorno | ic inbox ( ruby city ) Ⅰ

That's true. Hurting with other people and not alone, I mean. Honestly I don't know if I even could stop feeling any of the things I feel no matter how much I wanted to, but I wasn't sure if even just the thought of it was the bad kind of selfish.

Dio found out that I was upset about something and he said I should be more selfish. So it's something I'm thinking about. Him and me and selfishness and what it all means. Because I think at the very least that he's right that I can't do what I'm doing forever.

I don't need an answer or anything like that. I was just looking for perspective.

I don't think that either of us can. Keep going like this, I mean. I've been trying not to be what I perceived as 'selfish', and it's just turned me into kind of a mess. I keep shutting myself off like you said, and I don't think that's the right approach.

Jojo was pretty upset when we finally talked about this whole thing. He said something like 'it seems like nobody hurts you more than you hurt yourself.' I'm going to have to change something. Somehow. I don't really know how or what just yet.

[Oh, good. Let's talk about Captain Helpful, Dio Brando.]

...How's he doing?

[...an attempt was made.]

I'm glad he finally said that. It seems as though he's been thinking it for a while. He's definitely been worried for a while.

. . . You don't have to do that, you know.

I know he has, now. I'm going to try to make it so he doesn't have to worry like that anymore.

...Just let me make the attempt, okay? I'm not trying to be insincere or fish for information, just

I don't know. You don't have to humor me if you'd rather not, I'll understand.

It's not humoring you. I just don't want you to push yourself to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

Can I ask why you're asking?

We never knew him as something human in any sense of the word. I doubt Jotaro wants to change that and he's probably right not to.

I don't give second chances easily, but I just can't hold a preteen kid accountable for all of that. Even if I won't forgive or forget what he turned into and we'll almost certainly never get along, I guess I want to try to understand what kind of person he is now.

There's not much else to call it but 'curiosity', to answer your question.

That's an understandable reason.

I think he's doing better, then. I think getting him away for a while was a good idea. I think he's had trouble figuring out who he is when he's not trying to be a Joestar or trying not to be a Brando. So it was good for him to just be whoever he is for a few days.

He's learning Italian. I didn't know he was, he just sort of sprung it on me. And he hit me with a pillow.

[That sounded almost comically surreal. Kakyoin didn't know if he could reconcile Dio with Dio, a conflicted kid that got into pillow fights and the monster that had done more than he cared to list.]

[He didn't think he was capable of giving Dio anything resembling a 'second chance'. But that left Kakyoin with an abundance of hatred and a wrong target for it, so what else was left but to attempt coexisting?]

That's good to hear, I think. It's something.

It's weird as shit, Kakyoin.

I was trying to be nice.

It's weird, but I'd prefer that over a minuscule psychopath-in-training.

You don't have to be. Nice is overrated.

Don't get me wrong, I think he's still dangerous. But I think he's starting to remember what trusting is like, and that's important.

I'm not remotely about to think of him as 'not dangerous'and most likely never will. But 'less dangerous than he could be' is still a step in a direction I won't object to.

I suppose what I mean is I'm not going to do anything careless.

You're not a careless person, Giorno. I trust you.

I'm glad you do. But I think it's still important to say. There's the potential for strong bias here.

I understand that. I'm not exactly an unbiased participant here either.

I'm your friend, Giorno. So it's important to me that you realize this: if you need any kind of help or even just another perspective even when it comes to dealing with him, all you ever need to do is ask me.

I will.

Oh, I told Mr. Joestar, by the way, right before we left. He probably hasn't told you, but I thought you should know. You don't have to keep that a secret or anything.

He didn't exactly mention it. I think we managed to get the rest under control, but we should do what we can to keep Dio away from him just in case.

Don't worry. Dio's not going anywhere near him.

I know. I'll help if you need me to.

I don't want you to get in the middle of this.

I'm not going to put myself in the middle of anything. But I'm offering, if you need help at any point. I don't want you to have to handle this alone.

[. . .]

[He doesn't respond for a while. The trouble is that - he understands what Kakyoin's saying, he does, and he appreciates it in his own way. He knows it's important to Kakyoin especially that the people he cares about not be alone. But at the same time, he and Dio are alone in this. That's how the lines have been drawn, according to Joseph himself. They are the enemy bloodline. What he was afraid of from the start, that's what's going to happen if things escalate, and if Kakyoin helps it will be putting himself in the middle whether he thinks it is or not.]

[He doesn't want to tell Kakyoin about the threat. He thinks he should, but he doesn't want to.]

I'll think about it. But in this case I'm not sure that I can promise anything.

I can accept that.

[It was probably better that Kakyoin didn't know just yet, primarily because he'd probably want to start a fight with Joseph over it within the hour. If it did eventually come down to that somehow, he knew damn well what he'd end up doing. As uncomfortably close as it came to being on Dio's side in something, Giorno hadn't done anything wrong. He'd defend that with all he had no matter how right both sides were to a point.]

[...And he really, really hoped that Jotaro would see it the same way if things got that bad.]

I won't push it. All I want is to be sure someone's taking care of you while you're taking care of everyone else.

You're good to me, Kakyoin.

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