[He's looking at him steadily, watching him, measuring him - clearly upset, with tears clinging to his lashes, but not distraught, not despondent. It's undeniable that he does better when he has someone to take care of, and that's part of why he's able to hang on so strongly now, but at the same time, this isn't just about Jotaro. This is about demanding for himself as well, finally, after weeks and months of allowing it to slide.]
[So he squeezes Jotaro's hand and shakes his head, and they're thinking along the same lines, almost exactly: him imagining Kakyoin's face, or Jonathan's, if that came out and they weren't expecting it. How much that would hurt them - maybe just as much, maybe more.]
I won't lie to you and say I never wanted to know the similar things because I wanted to make sure I wasn't him, or even because I was curious, but . . . you have to know I care about you, don't you? You and Kakyoin and Jonathan, and your mother . . . I'm not the only one connected to him. In a lot of ways I'm the one least connected to him, and at the same time the most capable of making stupid, accidental mistakes that leave you like this.
When you hurt, it hurts me too. It hurts me and Kakyoin and everyone. When you hurt because of something I did that could've been avoided, I feel awful, like it was me who stopped your heart. So please don't . . . hide things from me anymore. I won't put myself in your business, or ask for details or elaboration if you don't want me to. Just please help me to not hurt you.
[And then for a few long moments he's quiet, thinking about everything that Jotaro's said. He thinks, and he looks out over the sand at the surf beating quietly against the edge of the beach, and he tries to figure out . . . can they do this? Can he do this? It's not a matter of giving Jotaro another chance, it's a matter of ensuring that they push to their limits, not past them.]
[Please don't make me stop now.]
[He exhales slowly and closes his eyes, tilting his head up; the moon pulls the tide around and beams through his eyelids, and he thinks, yes, he's pretty sure - he's pretty sure they can do this. And if they can't, they'll pick each other up again once they've fallen down.]
. . . Nobody's called me Gio since I got here.
[With a soft laugh, he turns, opens his eyes, looks at Jotaro levelly, his gaze clear and calm.]
Trish would call me an idiot for doing this. But I think you're right. I think that we need to do this, and we can do this. And I think that you're amazing, and I wish you knew it just by knowing it like I do, but if getting through this is what you need to see it, then we'll get through this.
You have to promise, though. Promise to talk to me, for real, and don't let me cheat just because I'm ignorant of something that's going to hurt you.
no subject
[He's looking at him steadily, watching him, measuring him - clearly upset, with tears clinging to his lashes, but not distraught, not despondent. It's undeniable that he does better when he has someone to take care of, and that's part of why he's able to hang on so strongly now, but at the same time, this isn't just about Jotaro. This is about demanding for himself as well, finally, after weeks and months of allowing it to slide.]
[So he squeezes Jotaro's hand and shakes his head, and they're thinking along the same lines, almost exactly: him imagining Kakyoin's face, or Jonathan's, if that came out and they weren't expecting it. How much that would hurt them - maybe just as much, maybe more.]
I won't lie to you and say I never wanted to know the similar things because I wanted to make sure I wasn't him, or even because I was curious, but . . . you have to know I care about you, don't you? You and Kakyoin and Jonathan, and your mother . . . I'm not the only one connected to him. In a lot of ways I'm the one least connected to him, and at the same time the most capable of making stupid, accidental mistakes that leave you like this.
When you hurt, it hurts me too. It hurts me and Kakyoin and everyone. When you hurt because of something I did that could've been avoided, I feel awful, like it was me who stopped your heart. So please don't . . . hide things from me anymore. I won't put myself in your business, or ask for details or elaboration if you don't want me to. Just please help me to not hurt you.
[And then for a few long moments he's quiet, thinking about everything that Jotaro's said. He thinks, and he looks out over the sand at the surf beating quietly against the edge of the beach, and he tries to figure out . . . can they do this? Can he do this? It's not a matter of giving Jotaro another chance, it's a matter of ensuring that they push to their limits, not past them.]
[Please don't make me stop now.]
[He exhales slowly and closes his eyes, tilting his head up; the moon pulls the tide around and beams through his eyelids, and he thinks, yes, he's pretty sure - he's pretty sure they can do this. And if they can't, they'll pick each other up again once they've fallen down.]
. . . Nobody's called me Gio since I got here.
[With a soft laugh, he turns, opens his eyes, looks at Jotaro levelly, his gaze clear and calm.]
Trish would call me an idiot for doing this. But I think you're right. I think that we need to do this, and we can do this. And I think that you're amazing, and I wish you knew it just by knowing it like I do, but if getting through this is what you need to see it, then we'll get through this.
You have to promise, though. Promise to talk to me, for real, and don't let me cheat just because I'm ignorant of something that's going to hurt you.